[INTRO — TAP DRIPPING / VINYL CRACKLE] [old instructional record, female] "Are you feeling... a little dirty?" [click] [male, calmly] "Not yet." [record scratch] "Where's the bath?" [female] "Mate, this is a nightclub." [male] "Perfect." [water droplet echoes into a bass wobble] [whispered, panned] "Hot water?" "No." "Cold water?" "No." "Then what?" [all sound cuts] "BASS WATER." [BUILD 1 — 150 BPM / rubber ducks squeak] [spoken male] I didn't come for a cocktail. I didn't come to make a splash. I walked straight past the cloakroom with a towel and a bag of cash. They said, "Sir, what's in the bucket?" I said, "My dignity. It leaks." I'm not after something pretty; give me filth that fucking speaks. [radio sample] "Please remain seated while pressure increases." [woman in crowd] "Who brought a bathtub to the rave?" [male] "Somebody with excellent taste." [duck squeak] [mechanical voice] "FILL LEVEL: DISGUSTING." [PRE-DROP — rapid chops / rising pitch] Scrub-a-dub, dub-a-dub, WUB-A-DUB-DUB! Bring that grime right up! [snare roll] "Sir, you're overflowing." "THANK YOU!" [one-beat silence] [whisper] "Pull the plug." [DROP 1 — FILTHY HALF-TIME RIDDIM] [INSTRUMENTAL: wet bass answers metallic growls] WUB! ... GLORP! WUB-WUB! ... SKRREEE! [laser chirps / rubber bass bends] [spoken sample] "Oh, that is VILE." [male] "Keep going." [duck squeak] [hard silence] "WHO PUT THE TOASTER IN THE BATH?!" [huge distorted bass slam] [glitched sample] "DO NOT—DO NOT—DO NOT—" [INSTRUMENTAL: triplet bass stabs] "WASH ME IN IT!" [VERSE 2 — MINIMAL BASS-HOUSE STOMP] [female, incredulous] "Excuse me... did you just have a bath?" [male, proud] "Yep." [female] "Then why are you so filthy?" [male] "Why, thank you. It's the bass." [awkward pause] [female] "That's not a normal answer." [male] "Neither's bringing soap to a rave." I got a loofah made of subwoofers, Shampoo from a broken synth, Got a rubber duck conducting Every demon in the mix. There are bubbles on the ceiling, There are lasers in the drain, There's a bassline in the plumbing And it's trying to escape. The attendant wants a wristband, The bouncer wants a towel, The DJ yelled, "Who's leaking?" Then the speakers started growling. [broken 1960s advert sample] "For that deep-down, squeaky-clean feeling—" [needle dragged backwards] "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" [glitched crowd] "DIR-TY! DIR-TY! DIR-TY!" [male] "If it's clean, send it back." [BUILD 2 — PRESSURE WARNING] [computer voice] "Warning. Bathwater has achieved sentience." [female] "Is that... supposed to happen?" [male] "It happens on the good nights." [snare doubles / alarm rises] [mechanical countdown] "Five. Four. Three—" [duck squeak instead of two] [male] "Wait, what happened to two?" [dead silence] "THE DRAIN IS ANGRY." [DROP 2 — 174 BPM NEURO-DNB] [INSTRUMENTAL: rolling breaks, Reese pressure] [neuro shrieks / fast edits / sub glides] [radio announcer] "Attention: severe turbulence in the bathroom." [metallic bass answers rubbery wub] "RINSE!" "REPEAT!" [snare machine-gun burst] [one-beat void] "NO REFUNDS!" [female, distant] "Is the floor meant to do that?" [male] "That's the massage setting." [neuro growl / vinyl brake / impact] [BREAKDOWN — ZERO GRAVITY BATHROOM] [drums dissolve] [bubbles drift / backwards piano] [soft male, floating] I thought I came to wash away the dust of ordinary days. But every time the low end hits, the whole damn universe vibrates. I can see the colours dripping from the cracks inside the wall. And the duck just turned and whispered, "Mate... you haven't heard it all." [duck, absurdly deep voice] "YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED." [male] "For what?" [duck] "THE FINAL RINSE." [long silence] [male, quietly] "Oh, fuck." [FINAL BUILD — 150 BPM RIDDIM] [female, mock formal] "Ladies and gentlemen, keep your arms, legs and emotional baggage inside the tub." [male] "More pressure!" [female] "It's already illegal!" [male] "MORE!" [drum fill / rising bubble swarm] [call and response] "Are we clean?" "NO!" "Are we filthy?" "YES!" "Then what are we?" [all audio hard-mutes] [one dry whisper] "Bathing. In. Bass." [FINAL DROP — RIDDIM VS NEURO] [INSTRUMENTAL: gigantic wet bass call-and-response] [4 bars riddim / 4 bars furious DnB] [chainsaw shriek / monstrous Reese / filthy sub] "BASS!" [laser] "BATH!" [metal clang] "FILTH!" [duck squeak] [siren collapses into a bass growl] [174 BPM: breakbeat frenzy / neuro squelch] [150 BPM: halftime stomps / stereo bass duels] [snare choke / silence] [female] "Are you FINISHED?" [male] "Not until I'm dirtier!" [FINAL COLOSSAL BASS IMPACT] [drums stop / drain gurgles] [one last squeaking duck] [OUTRO — OLD RADIO CRACKLE] [female] "So... how was your bath?" [male] "Lovely. I'm absolutely filthy." [female] "Same time next week?" [male] "Bring a bigger tub." [click] [low sub rumble] [duck, whisper] "...wub."
