10K Plays Celebration Concert - Demon Turkey - WingSUCK!!

[Intro, spoken] "Well now... You didn't see my taloned foot tapping backstage--but I assure you, it was!" [Crowd:] "Syna!!" [DEMON TURKEY:] "Syna, the fact you were able to produce something that repeated my parting words has me impressed... Good goin'. You're going at the very bottom of my hit list... You'll grow old and die naturally before I ever come for you..." "I hope no one fell asleep during his performance... Anyone who did are disrespectful assholes who don't deserve to be here!" "Okay, now... There's one more I've been meaning to keep at the bottom of my list. Now where is he?!? Where the fuck are you, Blue Hermit?!? I expect ALL my biggest fans to show up and hear my debut live show!" "Yo, Blue! Where arrrrre yoooooou?!?" [FX: the crowd is cheering loudly.] [BLUE HERMIT:] "Oh my God, you guys. The Turkey noticed me! *girly scream* Where's my fucking autograph?!?" [DEMON TURKEY:] "Oh! OH! Great... Damn, I'm relieved... Alright Blue; you'll get your autograph right after my song, alright?? You good with that?" "Cool... Next, I'll just say... it's a damn shame that Fox isn't coming to perform this song with me. What a chicken... and noooo. I'm not going to humor her by doing an impression of one. I'm a T-U-R, K-E-Y! If she wanted a demon chicken, she should go look for one..." [Verse 1, rapping] Breaking out of this damn prisonnnn! Want to demand for what is missinnnn' Turkeys constantly get disrespected! Only a few annually are pardoned!! Not a sign of bottom fine print. I don't wanna be just big V.P. You players aren't getting shit! I'll spill your blood for all to seeeee... [Pre-chorus, singing] Why couldn't I just give an option? Lay an extra egg, draw a card or somethin', I'm as sharp-minded as they come. I can fly up and strike. YOU'D BE FUCKED!! [Chorus] This game Wingspan, it sucks! Wing SUCK, SUCK, SUCK! Too late to do me favorrrrs! I can't enjoy it fullyyyy! You humans do me dirtyyyyyy! [Verse 2, rapping] Now I'm on stage, live, Who's ready for round two? I'll ruin your good time! All these other birds get powers, and crazy chains, While I'm just here for egg storage. It drives me insane! You think you've got a good engine? A clever little plan? I'll ruin your strategy. I'll swipe those cards from your hand! Check your bird feeder--yeah, nothing but a drought! Watch me toss the dice away! Leave 'em rollin' about! I see you tucking cards for points! I'll tear those to shreds! I'm the predator now! I'll have your fuckin' heads! You want more egg slots? Here's a crack in the shell. I'll turn your tabletop hobby into a living hell! [Pre-chorus, singing] Why couldn't I just give an option? Lay an extra egg, draw a card or somethin', I'm as sharp-minded as they come. I can fly up and strike. YOU'D BE FUCKED!! [Chorus] This game Wingspan, it sucks! Wing SUCK, SUCK, SUCK! Too late to do me favorrrrs! I can't enjoy it fullyyyyy! You humans do me dirtyyyyyy! [Bridge, aggressive singing and screaming] You think I'm just a number. A value on your mini board?! I'm your worst nightmare, here to wreck up your score! No more food tokens!! No more cages!! I'll destroy the other pieces!!! Flipping the table!! Burning the entire deck!! I rapidly peck! Blood spurts out from your neck!! Wing-SUCK!!! WING-SUCK!!! WING-SUUUUCK!!! [Chorus] This game Wingspan, it sucks! Wing SUCK, SUCK, SUCK! Too late to do me favorrrrs! I can't enjoy it fullyyyyy! You humans do me dirtyyyyyy! Turkeys get no justice!!! Fuck this, fuck this, FUCK THIS!! I'm done with the game entirelyyyyy! You humans do me dirtyyyyyyy! [Outro, spoken] "Maybe I should start designing my own board game, to further my revenge... Nah. I can't be bothered to do that... Fox loves Wingspan too much. She's got all the fuckin' digital expansions now... However, nothing has improved for the turkey card... Developers, get your heads together and make a fuckin' turkey expansion!! Only then would I be willing to play it more..."