Hook, Line-- & Stinker

[Intro – Fish Man] Wellllll, look what washed up… Come here, little mermaid. I got plans. [Mermaid] You always got plans, You don’t even have gas. [Verse 1 – Fish Man] I’m gonna buy you pearls, gonna buy you rings, Gonna take you places, gonna do big things, Get a little boat with a motor out back, Maybe clean the beer cans outta my shack. I’m gonna treat you right, gonna straighten my life, Might even someday make you my wife [Mermaid] Mmm-hmm, wait ...What? [Fishman] Nothing. Keep swimming. [Mermaid] I brought the cooler, I brought the wine, Shaved my legs and showed up on time, Got my tail all shiny, seashells on, By the time you text back, half the damn day’s gone. I brought the bait, brought snacks, brought ice, Even entertained your bullshit twice, You promised me sunset, romance, and fun [Fish Man] Baby, just watch how the river runs. [Mermaid] Boy, I’ve been watching. You ain’t running nowhere but to the bank with all that stank [Chorus – Both] Ribbit, ribbit, stink frog, Mud-belly big-talk log, You croak real sweet with your paddle-wheel grin, Toss that worm, then you sink right in. Hook, line and stinker, Dirty little riverbank thinker, You throw that worm out, wiggle it around, Talk like a king with your truck broke down. [Fish Man]: Baby, I’ll give you everything you want. [Mermaid]: You can’t even find your wallet, hon. Big splash, big talk, then nothing Hook, line and stinker, Lord, you smell like something. [Verse 2 – Fish Man] I’m gonna build you a cabin, put a hot tub in, We’ll drink cheap beer while the crickets sing, I’ll rub your feet, cook breakfast too, Hell, I might even wash a dish for you. [Mermaid] Whoa, slow down, Romeo. [Fish Man] I’ll take you camping, take you out west, Put your pretty little head right here on my chest [Mermaid] Last time I laid there, I smelled old shrimp. [Fish Man] That was the truck. [Mermaid] Ughh ,- Yuck [Pre-Chorus – Mermaid-Female] You got one good line and you use it all week, Got catfish confidence with tadpole technique, Every time I think, “Maybe this man’s got depth,” You open your mouth and prove there’s nothing left. [Chorus – Both HEAVY FUNK] Hook, line and stinker, Sweet-talking bottom-feeder, Throwing little promises out like bait, Then showing up three damn hours late. [Fish Man]: Baby, I’m complicated. [Mermaid-Female]: Baby, you’re constipated. Big dreams, no plan, then nothing Hook, line and stinker, Ain’t you something? [Ping-Pong Bridge] [Fish Man]: I’m gonna buy you diamonds. [Mermaid-Female]: Pay your phone bill. [Fish Man]: I’m gonna take you dancing. [Mermaid-Female]: You stand completely still. [Fish Man]: I’m gonna rock your world. [Mermaid-Female]: You fell asleep at nine. [Fish Man]: I had a long day. [Mermaid]: You went fishing the whole damn time. [Fish Man]: I’ll take you to the coast. [Mermaid]: Your tire’s bald. [Fish Man]: I know a shortcut. [Mermaid-Female]: Dear God. [Fish Man] I got charm. [Mermaid] You got worms. [Fish Man] I got style. [Mermaid] You got germs. [Fish Man] I’m the catch of the creek! [Mermaid-Female] You reek. [Breakdown – Mermaid] Fishy, fishy, something smells rank, Big-ass promises, twelve bucks in the bank, Talking ’bout forever with a cigarette grin, Can’t finish one thing that the man begins. Got mud on his boots, lies on his tongue, Acts sixty-five, behaves twenty-one, Calls himself a legend, calls himself deep [Mermaid-Female] Baby, you’re a catfish with commitment issues and you've peaked. [Fish Man – Spoken] That feels personal. [Mermaid-Female] It is. [Breakdown – Fish Man] Aw, you like my beard and you like my truck, You like when I grin and don’t give a— [Mermaid-Female] Hmm , you sure about that [Fish Man] …duck. [Mermaid] Good boy. [Fish Man] You like my boots and my dirty old jeans, You like this fish-man swagger if you know what I mean [Mermaid] I know what you mean. Unfortunately. [Final Chorus – Both] Ribbit, ribbit, stink frog, Mud-belly big-talk log, You croak real sweet with your paddle-wheel grin, Toss that worm, then you sink right in. Hook, line and stinker, Swamp-ass overthinker, You wave that bait like you invented sex, Then disappear when I send one text. [Fish Man]: Baby, you know I’m your favorite one. [Mermaid-Female]: Baby, I just like watching you come undone. [BOTH] You cast, I tease, you bluff, then nothing Ribbit, ribbit, stink frog, Mud-belly big-talk log, You croak real sweet with your paddle-wheel grin, Toss that worm, then you sink right in. Hook, line and stinker Lord, ain’t love disgusting? [Outro – Mermaid-Female] Now I’m downstream with my wine on ice, Found me a fisherman who smells kinda nice, If your little bobber comes floating my way [Fish Man] Wait—what fisherman? [Mermaid] Throw your ass back in the lake. [Fish Man] BABY [Splash]