Patterns

(Verse 1) I see it coming, like a train down the track, I know the wreck is waiting, still, I don't step back. I'm great at seeing patterns, the twists and the turns, But when it's me, somehow, I never seem to learn. I keep my walls up, act like they're not there, Pretend I'm open, but I’m gasping for air. The irony? Yeah, I’m in on the joke— It's all a defense, but it’s just going up in smoke. (Chorus) I'm my own worst enemy, can't outrun what I see, Spot the cracks, but I’m falling through repeatedly. I talk too loud, and I break too fast, Keep crashing into the same damn past. I know the game, but I just can't win, Trapped in circles, always caving in. Happiness is just some kind of ghost, I’m too afraid to chase it, so I haunt what I know the most. (Verse 2) I sabotage myself, professional disgrace, Burn every bridge with a smile on my face. Relationships crumble, yeah, they slip through my hands, Can’t hold onto anything that love demands. I dive into the dark, let it swallow me whole, Neglect everything 'til I lose control. And when I break, I don’t want to explore, Because deep down, I'm not sure what's waiting at the core. (Chorus) I'm my own worst enemy, can't outrun what I see, Spot the cracks, but I’m falling through repeatedly. I talk too loud, and I break too fast, Keep crashing into the same damn past. I know the game, but I just can't win, Trapped in circles, always caving in. Happiness is just some kind of ghost, I’m too afraid to chase it, so I haunt what I know the most. (Bridge) I can’t stop the spiral, it pulls me in, Each time I swear it’s different, but it’s the same old sin. Maybe I don’t want to know why I can’t change, ‘Cause if I did, what’s left? Just something strange. (Outro) So I’ll keep running in this endless race, With my eyes wide open but still losing the chase. I’m the pattern I hate, but I wear it well— Like a badge of honor in my private hell.