[Intro — snare cadence, boots hitting pavement] LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! My NCOs all call me a turd, I know it's true 'cause I'm a shit bird! [Verse 1] My NCOs all call me a turd, I know it's true 'cause I'm a shit bird. Late to formation, PT gear wrong, Been falling behind since the run began. Getting in the van when it's time to run, 'Cause talking with Doc is lots of fun. Fell out the formation at mile number two, But when they call for chow—I'm ahead of you! [Pre-Chorus] 0311, grunt by trade, First to fight and last to get paid. Chesty's rollin' in his grave, I was born to raise hell and misbehave! [Chorus] I'M A SHIT BIRD! Everybody knows my name! I'M A SHIT BIRD! Gunny says I'm bringing shame! Terminal Lance with a busted plan, Skating every chance I can. You can NJP me, scream every word— I'M A UNITED STATES SHIT BIRD! [Verse 2] Gear adrift is gear a gift, If it ain't tied down, I give it a lift. Caught with another Marine's gear, Said, "Mine looks just like that—I swear!" Staff Sergeant asked what I was doin' there, I said, "Looking for mine!" without a care. He looked at the name tape, looked at me, Said, "That ain't your damn sif, Marine!" [Pre-Chorus] I'm a Blue Falcon through and through, I'll save my ass by blaming you. Threw my buddy under the bus, Saved my ass and betrayed his trust! [Chorus] I'M A SHIT BIRD! Everybody knows my name! I'M A SHIT BIRD! Gunny says I'm bringing shame! Terminal Lance with a busted plan, Skating every chance I can. You can NJP me, scream every word— I'M A UNITED STATES SHIT BIRD! [Verse 3] Got a high-and-tight that's three weeks old, Hands in my pockets when the weather gets cold. Didn't shave and my boots ain't shined, Lost my cover for the seventh time. Been Lance Corporal since God knows when, Promotion board said, "Not this one again." Cutting score moves, but mine don't advance, Forever and always a Terminal Lance! [Breakdown — bass and marching snare] Terminal! LANCE! Terminal! LANCE! Pick up Corporal? NOT A CHANCE! [Verse 4] Jody's back home with my wife, Sleeping in my bed and living my life. He drives my truck and drinks my beer, While I'm standing duty over here. She stopped writing somewhere in June, Jody moved his toothbrush in my bathroom. First Sergeant said, "Son, I've got bad news." I said, "Top, does he at least pay the dues?" [Chorus] I'M A SHIT BIRD! Everybody knows my name! I'M A SHIT BIRD! Gunny says I'm bringing shame! Terminal Lance with a busted plan, Skating every chance I can. You can NJP me, scream every word— I'M A UNITED STATES SHIT BIRD! [Bridge — traditional running cadence] LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! Can't keep up when the platoon's running, But yell "CHOW!" and here I come running! LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! Getting in the van when it's time to run, 'Cause talking with Doc is lots of fun! LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! Gear adrift is gear a gift, If it ain't tied down, I give it a lift! LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT! Chesty's rollin' in his grave, I was born to raise hell and misbehave! [Music drops — lone snare cadence] My NCOs all call me a turd... I know it's true 'cause I'm a shit bird. But when the shit gets real someday, I won't fall out, I won't run away. I'll stand beside the men I've trained, Even if they think I'm half insane. I may be dumb, I may be strange, Maybe one day I'll finally change. [Build] So I'll run and sweat and try again, Shoulder to shoulder with my fellow Marines. Might take some time to lose this shame... Until I earn that proper name— [Final Chorus — full band] U.S. FREAKIN' MARINE! I'M A SHIT BIRD! But the Eagle, Globe and Anchor's mine! I'M A SHIT BIRD! And I'll wear that title till I die! 0311, grunt by trade, A few bad choices might've been made! Chesty's probably still rollin' in his grave— BUT I WAS BORN TO RAISE HELL AND MISBEHAVE! [Outro — running cadence fading] My NCOs all call me a turd! I know it's true 'cause I'm a shit bird! Gear adrift is gear a gift! If it ain't tied down, I give it a lift! Fell out the run, but don't you fear! First in the chow line—EVERY YEAR! 0311, grunt by trade! First to fight and last to get paid! LEFT! LEFT! LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT! UNITED STATES MARINE!
