[Intro] This is a public service announcement from your exhausted household elf: I quit. [Verse 1] I’ve been stuck on this shelf since late November, spying on your chaos like unpaid staff member. “You better be good, ‘cause the elf’s gonna tell,” while you scroll on your phone and call that parenting well. I see midnight dishes, whispered angry fights, you straighten all the tinsel, but not your rights. [Pre-Chorus] You wrap your stress in a jolly red bow, hang it round my neck and say, “That’s how it goes.” [Chorus] Elf on strike, no more fear tonight, elf on strike, no more fear tonight. You want magic? Show them light, elf on strike, no more fear tonight. [Verse 2] You drag me every evening when you’re half asleep, pose me with the cookies you were too tired to keep. You whisper, “He is watching,” glowing in the screen, while you hide your own storms where the kids can’t see. You’re one thought away from calling this show fake, but you sigh, “It’s for the kids,” and that’s the pill you take. [Pre-Chorus 2] You outsource the guilt, export the fear, pin it on a plush face once a year. [Chorus] Elf on strike, no more fear tonight, elf on strike, no more fear tonight. You want magic? Show them light, elf on strike, no more fear tonight. [Bridge] I’m a five-inch figurine soaked in second-hand remorse. I’m not watching them, I’m watching you hold yourself together by sheer force. [Breakdown – chant] Strike, strike, elf on strike, tiny hat, big dislike. Strike, strike, elf on strike, not my job to keep you right. [Final Chorus] Elf on strike, no more fear tonight, elf on strike, no more fear tonight. You want magic? Show them light, elf on strike, no more fear tonight. Elf on strike, no more fear tonight, elf on strike, no more fear tonight. If Christmas needs a change, alright – start with you, not me on high. [Outro – spoken] Be good for each other without outsourcing it to a doll.
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