[Spoken Word] Hello, welcome to my therapy session songs. Hope they make you smile. This session is about — well, it seems everything — so this may take a while! [Verse 1] Therapist: Hello, what can we start with? Patient: I don’t know. What about the color blue? Therapist: You want to talk about the color blue? Patient: No, that’s just what popped in my head. Therapist: Oh, I see. What else popped in your head? Patient: I was thinking about yesterday. Therapist: What happened yesterday? Patient: I don’t remember. Therapist: Then why did you say you want to— Never mind. Let’s move on. Therapist: What else do you have for me? Patient: My umbrella. Therapist: Did you need your umbrella? Patient: Um... no, yes, maybe yesterday. Therapist: Okay, I’m starting to understand. Patient: Are you really? Let’s talk about 2 o’clock. Therapist: What happened then? Patient: I think I went to the cafe. Therapist: Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. Therapist: So then what happened? Patient: I think I remember — I put on my blue shoes. It was raining, so I took my umbrella, and I was meeting a friend at the cafe at 2 PM. Therapist: Wow — you pieced that all together. Good for you. What did you come to see me for? Patient: Well, at 2 we talked about me seeing you, then it rained, and I was blue, so we just sat there. Therapist: Why were you talking about me? Patient: Because we thought you were a red for sure. Therapist: And what is a red? Patient: Well, a red is someone who’s organized. Therapist: I see. Patient: Someone who works very hard and gets a lot done. Therapist: Not saying you’re wrong. Patient: But then you run in a purple! Therapist: Okay, wait! Why a purple? Why not an orange or a green? Patient: I haven’t talked to them, you see, so they’re in different slots. Therapist: Slots? Patient: Yeah. So green is 3 o’clock and a slob. Orange is 4 o’clock and is a super-happy person. Therapist: I see. So everything is a time and color. Patient: But there’s a problem. I can’t read a clock! Therapist: WHAT?! Patient: I mean a clock with the finger-hand things. Therapist: So you can’t read the clock behind me? Patient: No. Therapist: According to the clock, your time is up. Patient: But what if I give you all the colors? Therapist: Oh, now you have me. Tell me more. Patient: Well, white is boring because, well, it’s just white. Therapist: And does white have a time? Patient: No, it’s not a real thing. It’s like gray. Therapist: What’s wrong with gray? Patient: Gray’s like the sky! Therapist: But it’s sunny out! Patient: Yes, but that’s orange! Therapist: Okay, I think I understand your system now. Patient: Good. Therapist: People are colors, and colors are connected to times. Patient: Exactly. Therapist: Well, I have my own system. Patient: You do? Therapist: Yes. I think people are weather. Patient: What kind of weather am I? Therapist: You’re a thunderstorm. Patient: Really? Therapist: You change direction, you’re unpredictable, and I never know what’s coming next. Patient: What are you? Therapist: I’m sunny. Patient: No, you’re not. Therapist: Excuse me? Patient: You’re foggy. Therapist: Why am I foggy? Patient: Because you don’t seem to know what’s happening either. Therapist: ...I’m changing my system. Patient: To what? Therapist: Volcanoes. Patient: What am I? Therapist: Still a thunderstorm. Patient: Okay, are you done? Therapist: So here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to find a red in blue shoes. You two, red and orange, are going to find a park bench. Then all three of you are going to run for cover because a volcano is coming for you. Patient: Where will you be? Therapist: Talking to Purple. I think it will solve this problem. Patient: Which problem? Therapist: The problem you told him about me when it was raining and 2 o’clock. Patient: And what’s he going to say? Therapist: He’s going to tell you your shoes weren’t blue, it wasn’t raining, and you never went to the cafe. Patient: Wow... it took you this long? I was purple all along? Therapist: Thank you for your time.
