Drafts

Your name still comes up
When I type the first few letters
Same old address underneath

I nearly wrote you last December
Couldn’t think what to say
So I shut the laptop and went to sleep

Started with, “Hope you’re alright”
Deleted that
Tried, “You’d laugh if you saw me now”
Deleted that as well

I always thought
I’d get round to saying it properly
Turns out properly was doing a lot of work

So I wrote you an email you never read
Told you the boiler packed in again
That I finally fixed the back gate
You kept saying you’d mend

Told you I still get angry sometimes
Mostly at stupid things
And I still think of calling you
When something happens

I’ve got all this stuff to tell you
And nowhere left to send it

There’s an old thread from a Sunday night
Three lines about getting home
You signed it off with just your name
No “love”, no “take care”

I read it sometimes
though there’s nothing in it
Just, “Traffic was bad”
And “Speak soon”

Funny thing is
That’s the bit that gets me now
“Speak soon”

I used to have whole arguments with you
Driving home alone
I knew exactly what I’d say
You never said much back

So I wrote you an email you never read
Told you the boiler packed in again
That I finally fixed the back gate
You kept saying you’d mend

Told you I still get angry sometimes
Mostly at stupid things
And I still think of calling you
When something happens

I’ve got all this stuff to tell you
And nowhere left to send it

For years I had this speech ready
Everything you got wrong
All the times you should’ve stayed
All the times I needed more

Now I can’t remember half of it

If your name lit up my phone tonight
I wouldn’t ask where you’d been
I wouldn’t make you explain

I’d probably just say,
“Hang on a minute.
Don’t go yet.”

I wrote you an email you’ll never read
It’s still sitting there in Drafts
There’s no big ending to it
No lesson in the last line

Just the boiler
And the back gate
And a stupid thing I saw on TV
That you would’ve liked

I’ve got all this stuff to tell you
And nowhere left to send it

Your name still comes up
when I type the first few letters

I leave it there

I never press send

2207/7500

Your name still comes up When I type the first few letters Same old address underneath I nearly wrote you last December Couldn’t think what to say So I shut the laptop and went to sleep Started with, “Hope you’re alright” Deleted that Tried, “You’d laugh if you saw me now” Deleted that as well I always thought I’d get round to saying it properly Turns out properly was doing a lot of work So I wrote you an email you never read Told you the boiler packed in again That I finally fixed the back gate You kept saying you’d mend Told you I still get angry sometimes Mostly at stupid things And I still think of calling you When something happens I’ve got all this stuff to tell you And nowhere left to send it There’s an old thread from a Sunday night Three lines about getting home You signed it off with just your name No “love”, no “take care” I read it sometimes though there’s nothing in it Just, “Traffic was bad” And “Speak soon” Funny thing is That’s the bit that gets me now “Speak soon” I used to have whole arguments with you Driving home alone I knew exactly what I’d say You never said much back So I wrote you an email you never read Told you the boiler packed in again That I finally fixed the back gate You kept saying you’d mend Told you I still get angry sometimes Mostly at stupid things And I still think of calling you When something happens I’ve got all this stuff to tell you And nowhere left to send it For years I had this speech ready Everything you got wrong All the times you should’ve stayed All the times I needed more Now I can’t remember half of it If your name lit up my phone tonight I wouldn’t ask where you’d been I wouldn’t make you explain I’d probably just say, “Hang on a minute. Don’t go yet.” I wrote you an email you’ll never read It’s still sitting there in Drafts There’s no big ending to it No lesson in the last line Just the boiler And the back gate And a stupid thing I saw on TV That you would’ve liked I’ve got all this stuff to tell you And nowhere left to send it Your name still comes up when I type the first few letters I leave it there I never press send ______________________ Produced by Mickey Wilder. © All rights reserved.

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