The Strathcan Militia March

# The Strathcan Militia March [Intro — Brisk 6/8 military march, bright fifes, crisp snare drums, steady marching boots] [Verse 1 — Robust male soldiers' chorus] From Strathcan's walls to Ed-Town's gates, Our colours proudly fly! Through winter's cold and summer's heat, We'll hold our banners high! When strange things stir beyond the walls, And shadows cross the land, The Strathcan Militia answers calls, With rifle, drum, and hand! [Chorus — Full regimental band, triumphant brass] So sound the fife and beat the drum! Let every banner fly! Whatever strange tomorrow comes, We'll meet it eye to eye! Through snow and storm, through fire and fear, Our watch shall never cease! For Strathcan stands, and we stand here, To guard our homes in peace! [Verse 2 — Jaunty marching rhythm, fiddle joins the fifes] We've marched through snow a dozen feet, We've faced the things that glow! We've seen the dead come down the street, And told them where to go! From mutant beast to psychic foe, From horrors none can name, The Strathcan lads just shrug and say, "Well, that's a bloody shame!" [Chorus — Full military band] So sound the fife and beat the drum! Let every banner fly! Whatever strange tomorrow comes, We'll meet it eye to eye! [Instrumental break — The band abruptly stops, a lone snare drum continues] [Spoken — Posh, exasperated British military officer] "Sergeant! Sergeant, a word, if you please!" [Spoken — Calm Canadian sergeant] "Yes, sir?" [British officer] "There's a dimensional breach opening just beyond the eastern perimeter!" [Canadian sergeant] "Again, sir?" [British officer — increasingly alarmed] "AGAIN? What precisely do you mean, AGAIN?" [Canadian sergeant — completely unbothered] "Same thing happened last Tuesday, sir." [Pause] [British officer] "Good Lord. And what did you do?" [Canadian sergeant] "Closed it, sir." [Pause] [British officer] "Well... carry on, then." [Snare drum rolls — Fife blasts back into the marching melody] [Verse 3 — Soldiers resume singing as if nothing happened] Should gateways open in the sky, And demons march below, We'll shoulder arms and straighten ranks, And tell the blighters no! No king of Hell nor cosmic lord, Shall make our people kneel! For Strathcan stands with steady hands, And hearts of northern steel! [Final Chorus — Full regimental band, hearty male chorus] So sound the fife and beat the drum! Let every banner fly! Whatever strange tomorrow comes, We'll meet it eye to eye! Through snow and storm, through fire and fear, Our watch shall never cease! For Strathcan stands, and we stand here, To guard our homes in peace! [Loop outro — Brass fades, leaving only the original fife and snare drum pattern] [Instrumental — Repeat the opening marching melody, same rhythm and tempo, no final cadence]