Run the Solver on Me

[Intro — spoken] Hard rules. Soft rules. Capacity. Demand. River’s got all four. Might as well run the numbers. [Verse 1] Old Joe can’t haul on Thursday nights, He’s coaching hockey down the way, Sure, he’s got two hands and daylight, Don’t mean you load his truck that day. Count the gravel at the landing, Count the hours before three, Mark the water, mark the weather, Find a run that meets the need. [Pre-Chorus] A hard constraint’s a hard constraint, boys, The river don’t negotiate, You can’t make six hours out of five By writing URGENT on the gate. [Chorus] So run the solver on me, boys, Run the solver on me, Finite daylight, finite diesel, Finite human capacity. Put the handles with the gauges, Put the rudder with the wheel, If the numbers don’t come feasible, I’d rather know what’s real. [Verse 2] Who decides which load goes first? What stays parked when daylight’s late? Who can move the survey stakes? Who can open up the gate? Who’s Responsible, Accountable? Who’s Consulted on the call? Who’s Informed when somebody wanders Through that door across the hall? [Pre-Chorus] If the landing’s past capacity, Something’s gotta leave, You can’t haul an extra tandem Just by choosing to believe. [Chorus] Run the solver on me, boys, Run the solver on me, Protected hours, marked priorities, Bounded concurrency. Put the handles with the gauges, Mark the crossings clean, Don’t tell me that the bridge will hold— Run the damn machine. [Bridge — sparse banjo] They said, “There’s already a river chart.” I said, “Fine. Which way’s the flow?” They pointed toward three dotted lines. I said, “Fine. Who owns those?” Followed one past Wasi Landing, One through somebody’s property, Third one crossed the bridge twice— [full stop] And somehow came back to me. [Breakdown — call and response] Truck at the landing! CAPACITY CHECK! Three loads waiting! PARK SOMETHING NEXT! Nobody owns it! MARK THE CLAIM! Gate got moved! CHECK THE SURVEY! Radio at midnight! WHO’S ON WATCH? Who’s accountable? WHO’S GOT THE KEYS? [silence] …well, that’s an interesting map. [Verse 3] Maybe every load is reasonable, Maybe every road is sound, Maybe all the missing signposts Are just waiting to be found. Maybe somewhere up the Wasi There’s a perfectly marked stream, Where the one who signs the manifest Also gets to steer the machine. [Pre-Chorus] I don’t need a revolution, I don’t need a mutiny, Just put the honest numbers on the clipboard— And quit optimizing me. [Final Chorus] Run the solver on me, boys, Run the solver on me, Count the daylight, count the loads out, Count the actual capacity. Meet the hard rules, weigh the soft rules, Leave some margin in between, If you’ve got yourself a feasible run— Run the solver on me. [Outro — old industrial control voice] River level: acceptable. Bridge load: calculated. Operator capacity: finite. Accountability: assigned. Keys: elsewhere. Residual risk: non-zero. Verification required. [pause] River don’t care what the clipboard says. [single banjo harmonic]