[Intro] [Crying and sobbing ] Oh god, why?! Why ten thousand?! My balls are dying! [saxophones mimicking an air raid siren] [Verse 1] [Fast, spoken-word punk delivery] Hillbilly Hank wants a mountain of flesh! Skinning the bears while the server is fresh! Ten thousand leather! Ten thousand hides! Wipe the blood from my toxic eyes! Shove it in a cube, make the patches tight, I’ve been hunting these stinking stags all night! [Pre-Chorus] But Hank says "No! That's just part one!" The real nightmare has just begun! [Chorus] [Maximum] ONE THOUSAND THIS AND ONE THOUSAND FAT WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THAT? CRUCIFY THE QUEST DUDE. CRUCIFY THIS LOOP WHAT SADIST CAME UP WITH THIS SCOOP I JUST WANT TO CRY, I JUST WANT TO DIE WHO MADE THIS SOUP QUEST AND WHY? why? [Verse 2] Dive in the sea! Check the sunken crates! Lifeguard Billy is sealing our fates! One hundred radioactive worms in a sack! Extracting the green slime, breaking my back! The tactical choppers are dropping the mash, My base is getting raided while I gather the trash! [Bridge] [Chaotic, shrieking saxophone solo shredding] [Vocal 1 screaming:] "GET TO THE WORKBENCH!" [Vocal 2 crying:] "THE COOLDOWN IS FOURTEEN DAYS! NOOO!" Boar pelts for the bowl! Cactus flesh for the moist! The health inspectors are weeping, their voices are lost! Now Leather Lance is screaming, he’s ready to chew, But there’s one last thing for the ultimate stew... [Verse 3] [Heavy, driving rhythm, vocals getting completely unhinged] EARS! EARS! NOT THE HEALTHY KIND! BLOWN EARS FROM THE MARAUDERS, I'M LOSING MY MIND! One hundred blown ears to make the soup wet! This is the worst quest scam yet! [Chorus] [Full brass section exploding] [Total crowd chaos shouting along] THE REWARD IS A HOLO GRUB RUG ON THE FLOOR! A RUSTED STEW GARAGE DOOR! ONE THOUSAND GRUBS! GATHER IN THE WILD! I'M DIGGING IN THE DIRT LIKE A CRAZY CHILD! CRUCIFY THE WORKBENCH! CRUCIFY THE SOUP! ONE HUNDRED KASH AND I'M STUCK IN THE LOOP! [Chorus] [Emotional, crying] ONE THOUSAND GRUBS AND ONE THOUSAND FAT WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THAT? CRUCIFY THE QUEST DUDE. CRUCIFY THIS LOOP WHAT MORONCAME UP WITH THIS SCOOP I JUST WANT TO CRY, I JUST WANT TO DIE WHO MADE THIS SOUP QUEST AND WHY? why? oh my god, why? just le me die.... [Outro] [Music breaking down into heavy bass distortion] [Vocal gagging and coughing sounds] It's so moist... why is it so moist?! [A final, desperate scream] WHO STOLE MY PACKED GRUBS?! [Sudden loud garage door slam sound effect] [Cut to radio static]
