You say I haven't treated your Dad well, That you've watched him hurt somehow, That something in the way I love him Isn't what it should be now. I don't recognize that story, And your father says it isn't true, But for a moment, I'll stop arguing And see it through your view. Let's say you really do believe it. Let's say that's what you see. Let's say you're truly worried About the man who's here with me. Then there's something I can't reconcile, No matter how I try— If you thought your dad was hurting, Why did you walk out of his life? Why did you leave him with me If I'm the one you fear? Why would you move farther from him Instead of drawing near? If you thought he needed protecting, Wouldn't you want to stay close by? Wouldn't you call and check up on him? Look him in the eye? You say you're worried how I treat him. You say there's something you can see. Then if you really believe that— Why did you leave him isolated with me? Why stop the calls and conversations? Why close the doors and disappear? Why leave him missing children He has loved for all these years? Why take away the ordinary— The games, the visits, family days? If you thought his life was hurting, Why add another kind of pain? I would have thought you'd move in closer, Give him somewhere safe to turn, Ask him questions, really listen, Try to understand your concern. I would have thought you'd want more contact, Not less than there had ever been. But somehow worrying about your father Meant withdrawing yourselves from him. Why did you leave him with me If I'm the one you fear? Why would you make yourselves less present If you thought he needed you near? If you thought that I controlled him, Wouldn't distance make that worse? Wouldn't isolation from the people he loves Be the very thing that hurts? I don't understand the reasoning. Those pieces don't align for me. If you truly feared I hurt him, Why did you leave him isolated with only me? And somewhere in this conversation There's a voice that should be heard. Your father's not a helpless man Who cannot speak his own words. He's lived beside me all these years, Through ordinary days and storms. He knows the woman he's married to. He knows what happens in our home. And when I ask him what I've done, What I should change or try to see, He tells me that he loves our life. Shouldn't that mean something too? Maybe you see something differently. Maybe there are things you fear. Maybe you believe you're protecting him By refusing to come near. There may be reasons I don't understand. There may be answers I can't see. But I keep coming back To one simple contradiction: If the problem Was really me— Why leave him More alone and isolated with me? You say you're doing this Because of how I treat him— But I'm sure you expected being left out could hurt him. You had to expect he'd feel the sting. You knew what missing family moments And celebrations just might bring. Yet you chose to close the circle, Knowing Dad was on the outside too. While telling him that I was hurting him— Look at what you chose to do. I didn't take his grandchildren from him. I didn't tell you not to come. I didn't close the door between you Or try to cause you to become undone. You say that I'm the one who hurts him, And that's what I can't figure out: If hurting Dad was what you feared from me, Why were you the ones who left him out? So why did you leave him with me If you thought I treated him wrong? Why take yourselves out of his life If you thought he needed you all along? You didn't have to welcome me. You didn't have to take my side. But couldn't loving your father Mean staying somewhere in his life? Where you could call him. Where you could see him. Where you could ask him. Let him tell you what he needs. Because if you truly thought Your father needed protecting from me— Then why did you leave him completely isolared with me? You don't need to believe me. For this one question, You don't even have to. Believe your father. And if you can't— If you truly think He's hurting here— I still don't understand: Why leave him isolated with me?
