[to be sung with an exaggerated grin, eye-rolls and extra-sarcastic „Ooooh yeah“ backups] [Verse 1] I crawled out the shelter, what a glorious sight, The sky’s a lovely shade of radioactive white! My Geiger’s tickin’ like it’s got the jitters, But hey, free glow-up – who needs filters? [Chorus] Oh, ain’t it just peachy in the glowin’ badlands, Rads for breakfast, cancer for dessert, grand! Ghoul neighbors wave with their drippy little hands, I’m livin’ the dream in irradiated sands! Doo-wop doo-wop, what a treat, Who’d want clean air when you can’t even breathe? [Verse 2] Ran into a mutant with charm to spare, He said „Buddy, let’s hug – I’ve got two pairs!“ I smiled so sweetly, said „Love the enthusiasm, pal,“ Then sprinted away like my butt was on fire, pal! [Chorus] Oh, it’s positively fabulous, this atomic spree, Super mutants want tea, but they’re crushin’ me! My Nuka’s gone flat and my rifle’s on strike, Still the undisputed lord of this radioactive hike! Doo-wop doo-wop, life’s a ball, When your best pal’s a toaster that answers your call! [Bridge] Sure, the water’s like soup and the breeze tastes of rust, But I’ve got my optimism – and a severe lack of trust! If the next bomb drops, well, I’ll just shrug and say, „Finally, a weekend getaway!“ [Final Chorus – maximum cheese, dripping sarcasm] Oh, what a delightful romp in the fallout fair, Scorpions in my shoes and deathclaws in my hair! So lift your irradiated bottle, give a sarcastic cheer, Nuke-Topia forever – isn’t it just sheer? Doo-wop doo-wop, bop-bop bah-bah-bay, Welcome to paradise, hip-hip-hooray! [Fade out with overly dramatic harmonies, a fake laugh track and a slow, mocking drum roll]
