[to be sung with an exaggerated grin, eye-rolls and extra-sarcastic โOoooh yeahโ backups] [Verse 1] I crawled out the shelter, what a glorious sight, The skyโs a lovely shade of radioactive white! My Geigerโs tickinโ like itโs got the jitters, But hey, free glow-up โ who needs filters? [Chorus] Oh, ainโt it just peachy in the glowinโ badlands, Rads for breakfast, cancer for dessert, grand! Ghoul neighbors wave with their drippy little hands, Iโm livinโ the dream in irradiated sands! Doo-wop doo-wop, what a treat, Whoโd want clean air when you canโt even breathe? [Verse 2] Ran into a mutant with charm to spare, He said โBuddy, letโs hug โ Iโve got two pairs!โ I smiled so sweetly, said โLove the enthusiasm, pal,โ Then sprinted away like my butt was on fire, pal! [Chorus] Oh, itโs positively fabulous, this atomic spree, Super mutants want tea, but theyโre crushinโ me! My Nukaโs gone flat and my rifleโs on strike, Still the undisputed lord of this radioactive hike! Doo-wop doo-wop, lifeโs a ball, When your best palโs a toaster that answers your call! [Bridge] Sure, the waterโs like soup and the breeze tastes of rust, But Iโve got my optimism โ and a severe lack of trust! If the next bomb drops, well, Iโll just shrug and say, โFinally, a weekend getaway!โ [Final Chorus โ maximum cheese, dripping sarcasm] Oh, what a delightful romp in the fallout fair, Scorpions in my shoes and deathclaws in my hair! So lift your irradiated bottle, give a sarcastic cheer, Nuke-Topia forever โ isnโt it just sheer? Doo-wop doo-wop, bop-bop bah-bah-bay, Welcome to paradise, hip-hip-hooray! [Fade out with overly dramatic harmonies, a fake laugh track and a slow, mocking drum roll]
