[Overture] They dug in the field by the gas station lot Found a little brown terror in a shopping cart box With a face like a beet and a stare like doom And a smell that could clear every room They laughed, said, "It's just a potato, relax" Then it blinked once slow and split its own sack A crack in the earth, a shiver, a sigh Then the tuber sat up and screamed [Pause] "Hi!" [Instrumental Intro] [Verse 1] It rolled through town in a bucket of rain Left a trail of starch and administrative pain The mayor ran fast, the priest dropped his bread The librarian muttered, "I hate being dead" It opened one eye, then the second one too And it judged our mistakes in a gravy hue Every dog in the block started howling in key Even the mailman yelled, "Not me, not me!" [Pre-Chorus] Oh no, oh no (Who gave it a name?) Oh no, oh no (Now world ends) [Chorus] Eldritch Spud! (Oh no!) Eldritch Spud! (let's go!!) Mash it, smash it, pray it away But it keeps on growing Eldritch Spud! (Oh my!) Eldritch Spud (Why why why?!) Every fry in the county line Went dark in the sky [Post-Chorus] Eldritch Spud! Eldritch Spud! Mashed by fear, it rises above Eldritch Spud! Eldritch Spud! Bring the gravy, pray for stove (Spud! Spud!) The World is doomed (Spud! Spud!) And it’s Tuesday too [Verse 2] They tried holy water They tried a knife It demanded butter Then the keys to life The moon looked worried The clouds backed away It said, "I came for glory" Then it summoned a train [Verse 3] In the floodlight haze It grows new teeth Every whispered name Sinks six feet deep We threw salt We threw stone But it wore our fear Like a second skin and bone [Pre-Chorus] Oh no, oh no (Who gave it a name?) Oh no, oh no (Now world ends) [Chorus] Eldritch Spud! (Oh no!) Eldritch Spud! (let's go!!) Mash it, smash it, pray it away But it keeps on growing Eldritch Spud! (Oh my!) Eldritch Spud (Why why why?!) Every fry in the county line Went dark in the sky [Post-Chorus] Eldritch Spud! Eldritch Spud! Mashed by fear, it rises above Eldritch Spud! Eldritch Spud! Bring the gravy, pray for stove (Spud! Spud!) The World is doomed (Spud! Spud!) And it’s Tuesday too [Bridge] Now the world is done... Eldritch Spud What have we done? It split the soil It split the sky Made the rivers bend Made the cows fly high The mayor prayed With a paper plate But the tuber smiled And sealed our fate [Outro] We should've left it in the dirt We should've burned that cursed turf Now it smiles with ancient mud And the whole wide world turns... spud
