Theatrical British orchestral-pop with manic cabaret energy, 138 BPM, D major, constantly switching between intimate restraint and glorious organised chaos. Verses begin deceptively civilised: upright bass, brushed drums, pizzicato strings, muted brass and dry conversational male vocal. Irritation accumulates instrument by instrument—snare snaps, stabbing strings, timpani, honking brass, handclaps and increasingly argumentative backing singers. Pre-choruses accelerate like patience running out. Choruses erupt into enormous, ridiculously joyful big-band/orchestral pop: pounding drums, sweeping strings, blazing trumpets, choir and bouncing bass beneath a singer insisting he is absolutely fine. Sharp stop-start dynamics, sudden silences, comic timing and dramatic tempo-feel shifts. Bridge collapses to near silence before one tiny annoyance triggers the colossal final chorus. Witty, melodic, theatrical, euphoric and genuinely catchy; frustration performed with impeccable manners until the music completely loses control. Lyrics [Verse 1 — restrained, almost spoken] The kettle clicks, the toaster burns The neighbour's drill politely returns My keys were here, they're now elsewhere There's one wet sock upon the chair The phone rings twice, then disappears Someone says, "Quick question, got a minute, dear?" Of course I have, I've loads of time I'm absolutely bloody fine [Pre-Chorus — instruments begin piling in] Fine with the traffic Fine with the queue Fine with the bastard Who stops in the doorway Then looks surprised That I need through [Backing Singers] He's fine! [Lead] Thank you. [Backing Singers] Completely fine! [Lead] I SAID thank you. [Chorus — enormous, joyous explosion] I'M FINE! IT'S EVERYONE ELSE! I'm perfectly happy In spite of yourselves! The sun's in the sky And my blood pressure's grand So why am I gripping This mug in my hand? I'm calm! I'm serene! I'm the picture of health! [Backing Singers] He's lying! [Lead] I'M FINE! IT'S EVERYONE ELSE! [Verse 2 — cheerful bounce, irritation growing] A trolley parked across the aisle I'll stand behind it with a smile You stop your car to have a chat Oh marvellous — we'll all just wait for that "Have you tried switching it off and on?" Yes, Steven. Seventeen fucking times. "There's no need to get upset." I'm not. [Backing Singers] He is. [Lead] I'm NOT. [Pre-Chorus — faster] Fine with the passwords Fine with the forms Fine with the caller Who's "higher than normal" Every damn morning Since I was born [Backing Singers] He's coping! [Lead] Beautifully. [Backing Singers] So gracefully! [Lead] You're pushing it. [Chorus] I'M FINE! IT'S EVERYONE ELSE! I'm skipping through life Like a whimsical elf! No fury inside me No murderous glare I'm merely imagining Throwing that chair! I'm calm! I'm serene! I have mastered myself! [Backing Singers] Debatable! [Lead] I'M FINE! IT'S EVERYONE ELSE! [Bridge — everything suddenly stops] [Soft piano] Maybe it's me. [Pause] Maybe I ought to slow down. [Pause] Count to ten. One... Two... Three... [Sound of notification] [Lead, quietly] Who the fuck is that? [Single drum hit] Four. [Backing Singer, whispered] He's going. [Lead] I'm not going. Five. [Backing Singer] He's definitely going. [Lead] Six. [Backing Singers] Seven! Eight! Nine! [Lead] DON'T COUNT FOR ME— [Final Chorus — full orchestra detonates] I'M FINE! IT'S EVERYONE ELSE! THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE CAN GO SIT ON A SHELF! I'm bursting with joy! I'm exceedingly blessed! JUST MOVE YOUR FUCKING TROLLEY AND GIVE ME A REST! I'm calm! I'm serene! Hear the church bells themselves! [Choir] HE'S FIIIIINE! [Lead] DAMN RIGHT! [Choir] IT'S EVERYONE ELSE! [Lead] The world is delightful! My temper is sweet! Now indicate properly WHEN TURNING THE STREET! [Massive final hit] [Lead, perfectly composed] See? Fine.
