[Intro: The Menu] [0:00 - 0:15] [Tempo: 125 BPM, Key: D Major, Comedic Acoustic Folk] [A fast, bouncy acoustic guitar and upright bass set a lively folk rhythm] (Male Vocal - Rick, spoken): Hey Shanna. You like meat? (Female Vocal - Shanna, spoken with attitude): I mean, yeah. I guess. [Verse 1: The Carnivore vs The Sauce] [0:15 - 0:45] (Male Vocal - Rick, singing enthusiastically): I’m a man who loves his brisket, I like pork and lamb and mutton! Give me gravy, give me taters, I will pop my belly button! Meat, meat, meat! It's the only thing to eat! (Female Vocal - Shanna, singing fast and bright): Well, I like crispy chicken wings tossed in Frank's RedHot, But I'm also really open to the other stuff we got! Like Chik'n with a Q! And Quorn with a Q! Tofu and Impossible burgers, they're all just meat to you! [Chorus: The Disagreement] [0:45 - 1:05] [The guitar strumming gets heavier, driving the beat] (Rick): Wait, that's not meat! That's a bean in disguise! (Shanna): It's got protein, Rick, open up your eyes! (Rick): I need muscle! I need bone! I need something from the wild! (Shanna): You're eating roadkill, Richard, and you're acting like a child! [Verse 2: The Newport Game Dinner] [1:05 - 1:40] [The rhythm shifts to a frantic, foot-stomping country-folk beat] (Rick - Singing fast, almost rambling): Listen, every single year up at the church game dinner in Newport, The game warden brings the strays that he had to transport! The local butcher chops it up for charity and love, We got black bear, moose, elk, caribou, and dove! We got squirrel! We got fox! If it died upon the street, We bless it with some gravy and we call it holy meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! Meat! [Bridge: The Loop] [1:40 - 2:10] [Overlapping vocals! Total chaotic folk energy!] (Shanna - Singing rapidly): Well, I don't care about a moose, I just want a little spice, If you dip a piece of soy in sauce it actually tastes nice! (Rick - Chanting underneath her): Pork! Beef! Venison! Mutton! (Shanna): Impossible, Beyond, and some seitan on a bun! (Rick): No! Bear! Elk! Caribou! Fox! (Shanna): It doesn't even matter if it came out of a box! [Outro: The Proposition] [2:10 - 2:30] [The music suddenly stops. Just a single, quiet acoustic guitar chord.] (Rick - Spoken, dropping his voice to a creepy, confident whisper): You know, Shanna... speaking of meat. I'm a connoisseur of various sausages. And I got some prime cuts right here I'd be willing to share. (Shanna - Spoken, deadpan and disgusted): I don't mess with no Dick in a vest. [Clean Abrupt Stop] [End]
