CHAOS TO CALM [Intro - spoken] Right. Let's have a look at what you two clowns did. [Verse 1] Pulled up this morning, key in the door Plastic on the fridge, plastic on the floor All laid out for the brand-new machine — tidiest bit of prep I'd ever seen Then I clocked the walls and my stomach dropped one sad coat where the roller just stopped drips running down like they're starting to cry You absolute cowboys. What in the actual fuck. Why. [Pre-Chorus] Holes in the plaster you rolled straight over screw heads grinning at me, stone-cold sober wonky cut lines, a hair in the white and a mystery smudge from a thumb in the night [Chorus] It says CHAOS TO CALM on the side of my van I take a wreck and I steady the hand but you're on MY crew, you wear MY name — and you ARE the chaos, pricks you're the walking chaos, pricks I sell 'em calm and you handed 'em chaos, pricks [Verse 2] You laid the whole house out for the spray — left the machine in its box all day couldn't be fucked with a second coat rolled it once, then you grabbed your coat And the client says one of you looked her dead in the eye: "I hate painting and concrete" — no word of a lie Mate, that's the whole job. That's the trade you chose. That's not a confession — that's notice, I suppose. [Pre-Chorus] Holes in the plaster you rolled straight over screw heads grinning at me, stone-cold sober wonky cut lines, a hair in the white and a mystery smudge from a thumb in the night [Chorus] It says CHAOS TO CALM on the side of my van I take a wreck and I steady the hand but you're on MY crew, you wear MY name — and you ARE the chaos, pricks you're the walking chaos, pricks I sell 'em calm and you handed 'em chaos, pricks [Bridge] So I got you on the phone for a beautiful chat walked you through exactly where the cock-up's at now I'm here till dark with a steady hand turning your chaos back into calm 'cause that's the job. That's the brand. that's the whole bloody plan. You make the chaos, pricks — I'll always be the calm. [Outro - spoken] Two coats. Fill the holes. Use the machine you laid the plastic for. Easiest gig you ever blew.
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