The Last Riddim in the Universe

[Intro – Immediate heavy dub bass, steppers drums, skanking guitar, bubbling space synth] [Alien announcer – Deep robotic vocoder] ATTENTION, ALL LIFE FORMS. THE UNIVERSE WILL END IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE REMAIN CALM. [Male voice – Relaxed Patois toast] Five minutes? Wheel up di bass, mon! [Verse 1 – Driving reggae-rock, spring reverb, rhythmic vocals] Di sky turn purple, di ocean turn red, One meteor sail right over mi head. Di radio shout, "It's di final day!" But di alien DJ just wave it away. Eleven eyes an' four turntables spin, A black hole open where di dancefloor been. Him seh, "No panic, no need fi rehearse— We got di last riddim in di universe!" [Pre-Chorus – Rising synths, crunchy guitar accents] Stars fall down like confetti tonight, Saturn lose a ring inna disco light. No tomorrow, no yesterday, But di cosmic bassline still a play! [Chorus – Huge melodic reggae-rock hook, heavy bass, guitars, alien backing vocals] Play di last riddim in di universe! Dance while di stars fall down in reverse! Planets crack an' di comets collide, One last skank pon di cosmic ride! Play di last riddim in di universe! When reality breaks, let di bass come first! Dance through di apocalypse, heart to heart, Keep dat groove when di worlds fall apart! [Alien choir – Pitch-shifted] ONE! LAST! RIDDIM! [Instrumental – Crunchy guitar riff, space synth solo, tape-delay echoes, no vocals] [Verse 2 – Funky reggae, weird synth bubbles] One alien dancing wid a traffic cone, Another try calling him mother back home. Di moon start melting like ice cream in tea, A green little tourist shout, "WHAT ABOUT ME?" Jupiter laughing, Mars lose him shoes, A jellyfish DJ broadcast di news: "Reality leaking on platform nine!" "Bring a bucket, mon! And pass di lime!" [Alien 1 – Squeaky distorted voice] WARNING! REALITY IS LEAKING! [Alien 2 – Deadpan robotic vocoder] PLEASE USE A BUCKET. [Fast Dancehall Rap – Double-time flow, crisp rapid articulation, heavy groove] Tick-tock, big shock, universe crack, Black hole dancing wid a planet pon him back! Flip-flop, hip-hop, meteor shower, Alien DJ push di maximum power! No sun, no moon, no gravity left, One small Martian run off wid death! Quick step, side step, cosmic confusion, Time get folded like a cheap instruction! Big bang, last dance, galactic dismay, End of existence? Nice party anyway! [Dub Breakdown – Sparse drums, deep sub bass, tape echo, warped alien voices] [Alien computer – Glitching robotic voice] TIME HAS STOPPED. GRAVITY HAS RESIGNED. THE LAWS OF PHYSICS ARE ON HOLIDAY. [Male voice – Amused] Tell dem bring back a souvenir! [Alien – Rubbery squeal] BLOOP! EXISTENCE UNAVAILABLE! [Instrumental – Psychedelic rock guitar solo, analog arpeggios, heavy dub echo, no vocals] [Bridge – Half-time atmospheric dub, filtered guitar, warm vocals] Di stars go quiet, di sky turn black, Nobody know if we coming back. Mi ask di DJ, "What happens next?" Him shrug six shoulders, look mildly vexed. [Alien DJ – Warm distorted voice] If everything ends... At least let di bassline finish. [Build – Rolling toms, escalating synths, skanking guitar] [Male dub toast – Energetic] Selecta! Wheel up di last sunrise! Wheel up di final moon! Wheel up di whole damn universe! [Final Chorus – Explosive reggae-rock, cosmic synths, alien gang vocals] Play di last riddim in di universe! Dance while di stars fall down in reverse! Planets crack an' di comets collide, One last skank pon di cosmic ride! Play di last riddim in di universe! When reality breaks, let di bass come first! Dance through di apocalypse, heart to heart, Keep dat groove when di worlds fall apart! [Alien choir – Distorted chanting] ONE! LAST! RIDDIM! TILL DI END OF SPACE! [Outro – Drums disappear, echoing guitar, dying synth tones] [Alien computer – Deadpan] UNIVERSE TERMINATED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PARTICIPATION. [Brief silence] REBOOTING... REBOOT FAILED. [Male voice – Confused] So... what now? [Alien – Delighted high-pitched squeak] AFTERPARTY?! [Final massive bass hit, rubbery alien laughter, long tape echo]