Honse!

hip hop/rap, techno-pop, house, trap, alternative electronic/pop, experimental electronic, trip-hop

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[Intro]

[Verse 1]
Yo, I got a honse and his name is Craig
Body so chunky that he don't got legs
Well, he got legs, but they hidden by his girth
Vet said "That's the thickest honse on Earth"!

[Verse 2]
Built like a brick but he move so smooth
Big feet stompin' but he got the groove
I feed him one apple, he ate the whole tree
Then he ate my neighbor, and then he ate me

(Wait, how am I rapping if the honse ate me?)

[Verse 3]
'Cause this honse transcends all reality!
He's pound for pound the chonkiest beast
Started chewing at dawn, still ain't ceased

[Refrain 11]
H-O-N-S-E! (What's that spell?)
HONSE! (Can't you fucking tell?)
H-O-N-S-E! (Let's spell it twice!)
HONSE! (That's real fucking nice!)

[Instrumental]

[Verse 4]
My honse don't neigh, he makes a different sound
Like "BLOMP" when his belly hit the ground
Vet came back, said "Sir, I got concerns"
I said "Shut up, doc, look how gracefully he turns"

[Verse 5]
Did a little spin move, crushed the barn down flat
Stepped on my Honda Civic, turned it into scrap
Insurance asked me "What the hell happened here?"
I said "My honse happened, ain't that abundantly clear?"

[Refrain 2]
Chonk chonk chonky chonk! (He so chonky!)
Honse honse honsy honse! (But he ain't a donkey!)
Stomp stomp stompy stomp! (Big fat feet!)
Honse honse honsey honse! (He cannot be beat!)

[Instrumental]

[Verse 6]
When he walks down the street, pavement cracks in half
Science laws do not apply to this chonky-ass giraffe
And when he really getting hungry, then (and it's no joke)
I fly him to DC on Air Honse One, bro

[Verse 7]
He's a Presidential honse with the executive snacks
Ate the White House lawn and the Senate out back
Ate one Marine, then ate all the Marines
This big chonky honse is the chonkiest you've seen

[Verse 8]
Secret Service tried to stop him down at the gate
Honse ate the gate, and then he ate their Escalade
Trump's on the phone asking "Where the hell's my golf course?"
I said "Not there anymore, sir, it is inside my honse!"

[Break]

[Bridge]
People ask me "How DO you feed a honse that size?"
And I enjoy observing fear grow in their eyes
Eyes get wide when Craig is walking through the door
'Cause he ate the door, and also the floor

And the ceiling fan, and my antique lamp
And my grandma's ashes... honsey, you are such a scamp!
But I can't stay mad at this absolute unit
'Cause when he snuggles up, man, it's like there's nothing to it

[Outro]
Four thousand pounds of pure honse love
Crushing my ribcage from somewhere above
I'm losing consciousness, vision getting dim
But dying under honse? That's a ten outta ten!

[Outro refrain]
H-O-N-S-E! (Big and round!)
HONSE! (Shakin' the ground!)
H-O-N-S-E! (Eats all day!)
HONSE! (Hip hip hooray!)

2722/7500

[Intro] [Verse 1] Yo, I got a honse and his name is Craig Body so chunky that he don't got legs Well, he got legs, but they hidden by his girth Vet said "That's the thickest honse on Earth"! [Verse 2] Built like a brick but he move so smooth Big feet stompin' but he got the groove I feed him one apple, he ate the whole tree Then he ate my neighbor, and then he ate me (Wait, how am I rapping if the honse ate me?) [Verse 3] 'Cause this honse transcends all reality! He's pound for pound the chonkiest beast Started chewing at dawn, still ain't ceased [Refrain 11] H-O-N-S-E! (What's that spell?) HONSE! (Can't you fucking tell?) H-O-N-S-E! (Let's spell it twice!) HONSE! (That's real fucking nice!) [Instrumental] [Verse 4] My honse don't neigh, he makes a different sound Like "BLOMP" when his belly hit the ground Vet came back, said "Sir, I got concerns" I said "Shut up, doc, look how gracefully he turns" [Verse 5] Did a little spin move, crushed the barn down flat Stepped on my Honda Civic, turned it into scrap Insurance asked me "What the hell happened here?" I said "My honse happened, ain't that abundantly clear?" [Refrain 2] Chonk chonk chonky chonk! (He so chonky!) Honse honse honsy honse! (But he ain't a donkey!) Stomp stomp stompy stomp! (Big fat feet!) Honse honse honsey honse! (He cannot be beat!) [Instrumental] [Verse 6] When he walks down the street, pavement cracks in half Science laws do not apply to this chonky-ass giraffe And when he really getting hungry, then (and it's no joke) I fly him to DC on Air Honse One, bro [Verse 7] He's a Presidential honse with the executive snacks Ate the White House lawn and the Senate out back Ate one Marine, then ate all the Marines This big chonky honse is the chonkiest you've seen [Verse 8] Secret Service tried to stop him down at the gate Honse ate the gate, and then he ate their Escalade Trump's on the phone asking "Where the hell's my golf course?" I said "Not there anymore, sir, it is inside my honse!" [Break] [Bridge] People ask me "How DO you feed a honse that size?" And I enjoy observing fear grow in their eyes Eyes get wide when Craig is walking through the door 'Cause he ate the door, and also the floor And the ceiling fan, and my antique lamp And my grandma's ashes... honsey, you are such a scamp! But I can't stay mad at this absolute unit 'Cause when he snuggles up, man, it's like there's nothing to it [Outro] Four thousand pounds of pure honse love Crushing my ribcage from somewhere above I'm losing consciousness, vision getting dim But dying under honse? That's a ten outta ten! [Outro refrain] H-O-N-S-E! (Big and round!) HONSE! (Shakin' the ground!) H-O-N-S-E! (Eats all day!) HONSE! (Hip hip hooray!)

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