Wizard and Squizzard (the Ballad of Nargle and Gelbody)

Hail oh sons of Norgarde, And heed you well this tale, Of sorcery and swordplay, Of magi strange and fell. In Dungeon Crawl Classics they were played, Two errant heroes who've gone astray. Nargle the youthful warlock, Cast through weirdling portal strange, Did fight the eyeless blue men, To save innocents on the plane, When he found the elder lens, That wicked Sezerkhan sought His treacherous elf ally, Drew a blade and fought. To bring the eye of the overworld to his king, Zariel cast open the elf-land ring, Beyond which Oberon himself did stand, With his power the eye he did command. Sezerkhan I shan't betray! He vowed Oberon to slay! With every dram of his light, Nargle called a magic strike! (And with a roll of 20 on 20-sided die Nargle let magic missile fly!) The king of elf-land in grief, Died like a mortal man thief , The eye to Sezerkhan gave, Who spared Nargle from his grave. In Dungeon Crawl Classics they were played, Two errant heroes who've gone astray. Hunted by elves every night By eldritch doors he took flight. And to this day demons sing Of Nargle killer of kings. Of Gelbody we recount, A familiar from the fount, A devilish wag and wit, Shaped just like flying squid. Yea he was the mighty Squizzard, A sub-class of the Wizard. Fewer spells but a spray ink, DCC's strange as you think. He made peace with paladins from afar, And the dark cult of Azi-Dahaka, He marched halflings in a band of war, Placed paladin king in the halls of yore. Turned down king of pain, For he fears no hellish flame, The Cockatrice dared to fight, With tentacles and magic might. In Dungeon Crawl Classics they were played, Two errant heroes who've gone astray. The games might be over but their legends will stay.