[Verse 1] Grandad in the chair again Feet up by the set Pipe in his weathered hand Tea in a china set Mr Kipling on the plate Crumbs on his cardigan He taps the ash and grins Like he’s seen it all before [Pre-Chorus] Then the kids come storming in Bare feet on the floor Laughing round the house Like thunder at the door Grandad raises one white brow They all start pointing back Somebody broke the silence And nobody wants that [Chorus] He who smelt it, dealt it (He who smelt it, dealt it) Grandad says the children did it The children say, “Not me!” He who smelt it, dealt it (He who smelt it, dealt it) Round that old front room again It’s blame and victory [Verse 2] A cushion’s on the ceiling A toy train’s in the hall Someone’s on the staircase Laughing at the wall Grandad takes a long small sip Sets the cup back down With a pipe held like a sceptre He rules that little town [Pre-Chorus] One child blames the other One points at his chair Grandad shakes his head Like innocence is rare The telly hums in the corner The cakes are gone by three And every face in the room Is trying not to speak [Chorus] He who smelt it, dealt it (He who smelt it, dealt it) Grandad says the children did it The children say, “Not me!” He who smelt it, dealt it (He who smelt it, dealt it) Round that old front room again It’s blame and victory [Bridge] Then the room goes quiet Just a tiny little pause Grandad lifts his eyebrows Like he’s judging all the laws A giggle starts in the hallway Then another one replies And everyone’s cracking up Before the truth can die [Final Chorus] He who smelt it, dealt it (He who smelt it, dealt it) Grandad says the children did it The children say, “Not me!” He who smelt it, dealt it (He who smelt it, dealt it) One more round for the record In that old family tree [Outro] Pipe smoke, tea cups, cake crumbs Grandad in his chair Kids go running wild And blame floats everywhere
