Verse 1 I was sittin’ on the porch one night, Minding my own business, doing all right, When a question hit me outta nowhere, And I knew somebody had to care. I walked inside, my wife looked up, The kids went quiet, the dog took off, I said, “Sooooo…” and before I could blink, They all yelled, “NO! Don’t start to think!” Chorus Sooooo… I’ve been thinking, That’s when everybody starts retreating. My wife rolls her eyes, my kids disappear, Somebody whispers, “Lord, he’s got that look again, I fear.” I ain’t trying to cause no trouble, My mind just wanders when I sit too long. Sooooo… I’ve been thinking— And apparently that’s where things go wrong. Verse 2 If somebody from Holland Married someone from the Philippines, Would their kids be little jalapeños? ‘Cause that makes perfect sense to me. If a short man jumps into a swimming pool, Does the shallow end feel deep? And if you dream that you can’t fall asleep, Did you technically get some sleep? Chorus Sooooo… I’ve been thinking, That’s when everybody starts retreating. My wife rolls her eyes, my kids disappear, Somebody whispers, “Lord, he’s got that look again, I fear.” I ain’t trying to cause no trouble, These questions just keep coming all day long. Sooooo… I’ve been thinking— And apparently that’s where things go wrong. Verse 3 If a fly ain’t got no wings, Do we have to call him “Walk”? If a mime gets arrested, Does he have the right to talk? If you’re waiting on the waiter, Ain’t the waiter waiting too? And why do we drive on a parkway, Then park on an avenue? Breakdown — spoken over banjo My wife said, “Do you ever just sit there and think about… nothing?” I said, “Sooooo…” She said, “DON’T.” Final Chorus Sooooo… I’ve been thinking, There they go again, retreating. Thirty-some years she’s heard that sound, And somehow she’s still hanging around. The kids all groan, but they start laughing, Before they even know what’s coming along. Sooooo… I’ve been thinking— Maybe thinking ain’t what’s wrong. Outro — spoken “Hey, honey?” “What?” “Sooooo…” “Oh, Lord.” “If a turtle loses his shell… Is he homeless… or naked?”
