At first,I wanted silence. No questions,no plans,no noise. So I stopped answering slowly, Till quiet became my choice. I said I was tired,said maybe next week, Watched every invitation disappear from my screen. Left messages open,then closed them again, Told myself distance was easier than friends. I got good at leaving before I was missed, Good at pretending I preferred it like this. And every small absence became something more, Till nobody knocked on the invisible door. I thought I was protecting peace, Keeping disappointment outside. But walls don't only stop the damage. Sometimes they keep out life. I stopped calling, Then one day nobody called. I built a room around the silence And forgot I'd built the walls. I said,"I'm better on my own," Till being alone became true. Sometimes the hardest first step Is letting one person back through. Months became habits,habits became years, I learned how to disappear without anyone near. Birthdays got quieter,names faded away, I blamed everybody else for the distance I made. Not every friendship was perfect or kind, Some people deserved to be left behind. But somewhere along the road I decided If one person hurt me,then everyone might. Maybe caution kept me standing. Maybe hiding helped me heal. But healing isn't disappearing. Being safe should still feel real. I stopped calling, Then one day nobody called. I built a room around the silence And forgot I'd built the walls. But I don't need a hundred people. I don't have to trust them all. Maybe tonight I answer one message. Maybe tonight I make one call. If your phone stays silent Because you've trained the world to wait, Don't punish yourself for surviving. Just don't confuse surviving with fate. You don't need to explain the years. You don't need the perfect words. "Hey.I know it's been a while." Sometimes that's enough to start. I stopped calling, But I can change that now. I don't need to become who I was Or suddenly know how. One message,one honest answer, One small opening in the wall. Maybe connection doesn't return at once. Maybe it starts with one call. The number is still there. So am I. Tonight, I think I'll call.
