[Intro] There’s a rhythm on the sidewalk, Wooden thunder down the street, Someone’s dragging in a marimba Like they own the whole damn beat. I was halfway through my coffee When I heard that cocky sound— Some new mallet-swinging menace Had just rolled into my town. [Verse 1] He said, “Move aside, old timer, There’s a better player here.” Then he struck one single C note Like we all should stop and cheer. He wore sunglasses indoors, Had four mallets in each hand, Said, “Your technique is outdated.” Oh. So this is how you want to die, man? [Pre-Chorus] I put my coffee down real slowly, Rolled my sleeves up to my wrist. “You can insult me, insult my rhythm— But you should not have said I missed.” [Chorus] MARIMBA! Wooden bars are flying! MARIMBA! Somebody’s ego’s dying! Left hand, right hand, tremolo attack, Hit him with a scale and he staggered back! Bum-ba-dum-ba-dum—prepare for doom! There ain’t enough room for two in this room! MARIMBA! Let the mallets decide! Two percussionists enter— ONE LEAVES WITH PRIDE! [Marimba Solo] [Verse 2] Okay. I’ll admit it. That was good. He gave a grin and said, “You scared?” “No. I was being polite.” [Marimba Solo] The drummer dropped his drumsticks. The pianist whispered, “Dear God.” The rude guy started sweating And blamed my instrument’s rods. [Chorus] MARIMBA! Resonators shaking! MARIMBA! The floorboards are awakening! Double-stroke, triple-stroke, mallets collide, Somebody yelled, “PERCUSSIVE HOMICIDE!” Bum-ba-dum-ba-dum—no time to flee! He’s playing four-four, I’m in seven-three! MARIMBA! Hear the hardwood roar! The janitor is watching And he’s blocking the door! [Marimba Duel] [Bridge] Then he reached behind his marimba… And pulled out two more mallets. Six. “You fool,” I whispered. I opened my coat. Eight. The audience gasped. A woman fainted. Someone called their mother. The xylophone player quietly left the building. [ULTIMATE MARIMBA SOLO] “HA! Beat THAT!” [ULTIMATE MARIMBA SOLO] His remaining mallet snaps. [Final Chorus] MARIMBA! The neighborhood is shaking! MARIMBA! Several dogs are now awakening! Major, minor, chromatic descent, Nobody knows where the rude guy went! Bum-ba-dum-ba-dum—victory song! He talked too much trash and he played one note wrong! MARIMBA! Let the legend be known: You can challenge my rhythm— BUT RESPECT THE TONE!
