Serpent. Mischievous. Trickster. Liar. You wore my voice so well I stopped asking who was speaking. You knew the roads back there You knew the nights by name You took nine months of staying alive and turned survival into chains You knew which faces to bring back Which sounds could clear a room Which little crack to crawl inside when I was running on fumes I kept you alive. You kept me afraid. Same thing. Not anymore. Funny thing about the dark You had me staring at my feet Never crossed my mind to look up I thought the light had left me Thought I'd gone too far to see Spent years fighting shadows that kept wearing pieces of me But there it was through every bad night every mile I barely made Not waiting somewhere up ahead It was already on my face You gave my anger reasons Made isolation sound smart Called numbness "getting better" Called a locked door "being safe" And you believed me. Yeah. For a long damn time. You'll believe me again. Probably. But now I know you're there. That's what changed Not the memories Not the nights Not what happened Just finally knowing every thought in my head doesn't deserve my trust YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME NOW? I KNOW EVERY DOOR IN THIS PLACE I KNOW THE GUILT I KNOW THE RAGE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY Saint Michael, defend us in battle. DON'T. Be our protection— SHUT UP. against the wickedness and snares of the devil. I'M NOT LEAVING. I didn't ask you to. May God rebuke him. I kept waiting for some miracle Something huge Something obvious Turns out I missed a thousand small ones The call I almost ignored The hand I almost pushed away The morning after I swore I couldn't do another day The breath that came anyway The part of me that kept saying get up even when you sounded louder I thought that voice was weak I was wrong I thought the light had left me Thought I'd buried it too deep But darkness only taught me where it didn't want me looking It was there above the wire There when I came undone There in every morning I thought I reached alone I kept asking where You'd gone While standing in the light I'll still be here. I know. You'll still hear me. I know. Then what changed? Now I know you're not the only one. I can see it now. It was hidden in plain sight.
