announcer: ever notice how sometimes the universe hates you? gun jams. cars stall. friends disappear. organs explode. then suddenly... everything goes your way? that's a glitch™! nobody knows why they happen. nobody knows where they come from. scientists hate them. cultists worship them. accountants deny their existence. when fate accidentally favors you, spend a glitch! need maximum damage? glitch it! need a second chance? reroll it! getting shot? glitch it! critical failure? critical success? absolutely not. glitch it! important test coming up? tell probability to shut up. glitch it! customer: so glitches are like luck? announcer: absolutely not. luck is predictable. glitches are a software error in reality. 🎵 "glitches!" 🎵 when the universe accidentally works in your favor. [fast disclaimer] glitches are not guaranteed. reality may patch itself without warning. excessive reliance on glitches may result in overconfidence, gambling addiction, religious experiences, and sudden encounters with statistically impossible consequences.
