Different Version

You laugh? You really laugh? After all this? After everything? Fine Come closer Let's talk about it Been carrying rage so long it feels stitched into my skin Wake up ready for battle before the day even begins Heart already racing before my feet touch the floor Every morning feel like I'm walking back into war People say "calm down" People say "let it go" Funny coming from people who never carried this load Never sat awake shaking at four in the morning alone Never watched their own thoughts turn a house into a war zone You saw anger You missed panic You saw fire You missed damage You saw shouting You missed terror You saw the cracks You missed the pressure And now everybody got opinions Everybody got a theory Everybody knows Santiago Till the story gets too serious Then suddenly nobody knows what the hell I've been through Everybody judges the smoke Nobody asks what lit the fuse You didn't matter enough to even form a thought I was too busy fighting my own mind while my whole world rotted Too angry Too anxious Too exhausted Too overloaded Trying to survive myself while everybody watched and commented Say it to my face Don't whisper in corners Don't hide behind comments Don't hide behind performers You laugh at me? Good Now we're talking At least that's honest Unlike half these conversations Everybody brave online Everybody got a plan Everybody got a diagnosis Everybody thinks they understand Till the panic hits their chest Till sleep becomes a stranger Till every single memory starts turning into anger Ready for war Ready for violence Ready for consequences Ready for silence Ready to lose everything Ready to burn every bridge Because nobody understands what it feels like to live like this Pressure pressure pressure pressure Building in my nervous system Pressure pressure pressure pressure Every warning light is blinking Pressure pressure pressure pressure Everybody says I'm different Pressure pressure pressure pressure No shit I've been barely keeping balance Heart racing Mind pacing Hands shaking Jaw aching No sleeping No breathing No peace and No healing Every day another rumor Every day another lecture Everybody wants the reaction Nobody studies the pressure I defended people Lost people Made enemies Crossed lines Stood where I was needed Every single damn time Then one day I looked around And somehow became the villain Funny how that works When nobody remembers the beginning They remember the explosion Forget the years before Forget the loyalty Forget what you were fighting for Forget the nights you stayed Forget the weight you carried Forget the scars Forget the fear Forget why you were angry You wanted Santiago Until Santiago became real Not the songs Not the jokes Not the late-night appeal The real one The tired one The anxious one The broken one The one trying to survive While fighting himself And that's the part nobody talks about Because it's easier to blame the fire Than understand the burn