[Intro – Spoken, sarcastic Southern female voice] Well, somebody called me uncouth today. Had to look that shit up. Turns out… they’re absolutely right! Hahaha! Hit it, boys! [Verse 1 – Swaggering, bluesy rock groove] You know dicks are like assholes Everybody’s got one, ain’t that the truth You don’t need to be a wizard To recognize an idiot so uncouth! Some folks talk like they’re educated But their brains ain’t worth a damn They open their mouths, start spewing shit And I’m like, who the fuck asked you, man?! [Verse 2 – Playful, sarcastic delivery] Turn a hamster into a dog Turn a duck into a chicken Turn a porcupine into a squirrel What the fuck are you saying, Earl?! He says, “Now listen, little lady!” I said, “Oh, here we fucking go!” “If bullshit was an Olympic sport, You’d be bringing home the gold!” [Chorus – Big, loud, sing-along] Yeah, I’m uncouth and I don’t care! Yeah, I’m uncouth, try me if you dare! Look it up in the dictionary! I’m uncouth, yeah, non-dictionary! I ain’t polite, I ain’t refined! I speak the shit that’s on my mind! Call me crazy, call me rude! I’m one uncouth bitch with an attitude! [Verse 3 – Driving Southern rock] Earl came back with his fancy words Said, “Girl, you need some class!” I said, “You need a fucking dictionary And a boot shoved up your ass!” He said, “You ain’t got no manners!” I said, “Well, ain’t that something new!” “Coming from a man who picks his nose And wipes it on his fucking shoe!” [Pre-Chorus – Instruments drop, spoken attitude] Now Earl… You can call me rude. You can call me crude. But there’s one thing you can’t call me… [Shouted] AS FUCKING STUPID AS YOU! [Chorus – Full band, louder] Yeah, I’m uncouth and I don’t care! Yeah, I’m uncouth, try me if you dare! Look it up in the dictionary! I’m uncouth, yeah, non-dictionary! I ain’t polite, I ain’t refined! I speak the shit that’s on my mind! Call me crazy, call me rude! I’m one uncouth bitch with an attitude! [Bridge – Bluesy guitar breakdown, half-spoken] Now some folks got their noses high Looking down on everyone But when they start their fancy talking That’s when the bullshit has begun! You call me uncouth like it’s some kinda crime Well, kiss my ass, honey, get in line! I ain’t here to please your delicate youth I’m a foul-mouthed bitch, and that’s the truth! [Final Chorus – Explosive, crowd shouting along] Yeah, I’m uncouth and I don’t care! Yeah, I’m uncouth, try me if you dare! Look it up in the dictionary! I’m uncouth, yeah, non-dictionary! I ain’t polite, I ain’t refined! I speak the shit that’s on my mind! Call me crazy, call me rude! I’m one uncouth bitch with an attitude! [Outro – Band stops abruptly] [Spoken – Female, laughing] Hey, Earl! You ever figure out that hamster thing? [Male voice, confused] Well, technically, if you— [Female – Shouted] SHUT THE FUCK UP, EARL! [Big guitar sting, laughter, end]
