[Intro: spy guitar riff, bongos] [Spoken: deadpan cousin] Tell 'em what happened [Male MC] Oh, I'ma tell 'em how it went [Verse 1: cocky young male MC, fast and loose] Two a.m., pump six, gas station off the overpass Big man rolls up in a lifted truck, bass loud, no class Steps down like a vendin' machine learnin' how to walk Says, "Youngblood, that's my pump." I said, "Big man, let's talk" I stepped right up, chin high, looked him dead in the belt buckle Told him, "You don't want this," and I cracked my neck and every knuckle [Spoken: deadpan cousin] You said "my bad" and moved the car [Male MC] Strategic relocation. Gave the man some space to breathe Then he swung on me, I slipped it, he hit nothin' but the breeze [Spoken: deadpan cousin] He sneezed [Male MC] Big sneeze. Aggressive. Bless him. I read it as a threat So I hit him with the combination, fastest hands you ever met [Spoken: deadpan cousin] You punched a code into the car wash keypad [Male MC] And the car wash came on, didn't it? Who you think did that? [Hook: cocky young male MC, cousin answers deadpan] I had it handled, had it handled, cool as the ice machine [Spoken: cousin] You got handled I had it handled, had it handled, cleanest you ever seen [Spoken: cousin] You got handled [Verse 2: cocky young male MC, faster] Peeled out, left him in the dust, I'm talkin' tire smoke [Spoken: deadpan cousin] You left your wallet on the pump [Male MC] Decoy wallet. Old trick. Advanced. You wouldn't know Then he's comin' at me runnin' with a look I couldn't read [Spoken: deadpan cousin] He was joggin'. Politely He bends down to my window and the whole sky goes dark Says, "Young man, you dropped this," three dollars and a bus card Opened up my wallet, put a twenty in the crease [Spoken: deadpan cousin] He tipped you [Male MC] Paid me off. Respect. The man was suin' for peace [Hook: cocky young male MC, cousin answers deadpan] I had it handled, had it handled, cool as the ice machine [Spoken: cousin] You got handled I had it handled, had it handled, cleanest you ever seen [Spoken: cousin] You got handled [Guitar solo: reverb spy guitar, bongos rattle] [Verse 3: young male MC, slower, laughin' at himself] Alright. Fine. He was six foot six and kind as somebody's grandmother Turns out he coaches pee-wee football, and he knows my older brother Bought me a coffee, said, "Slow down, son, it's two a.m." Asked if my mama knew where I was. I said no. He said, "Call her, then" Wrote his number on a napkin, "Call me if you need a ride" Big man held me like a box that says "this side up, glass inside" I been actin' hard since twelve 'cause nobody ever checked First grown man to take me gentle, and I ain't know what to expect [Final Hook: young male MC, grinning, cousin finally laughs] I got handled, got handled, handled with care [Spoken: cousin] There it is I got handled, got handled, glad somebody was there [Spoken: cousin] Now call your mama [End]
