I’m Allergic To Myself

I think I’m allergic to myself Even though I shower twice a day My skin gets mad and starts to swell If I think too hard or try to pray I sneeze when I look in the mirror I cough when I brush my hair The doctor said “you’re probably fine” But then he scooted back his chair And as I sit there smearing yogurt on my forehead I think how my mom says I should maybe see someone But I already did, and he ran screaming down the hallway And yelled “you're allergic to... yourself, my son!” I think I’m allergic to myself Every time I dream, I break out I tried wearing gloves, I tried wearing kelp But even my sleep mask taps out My sleep mask taps out! Taps out? - TAPS OUT! Bad rash Did you hafta be a bad rash? Did you hafta show up right before my date? Did you hafta form the shape of Florida on my face? Bad rash Did you hafta be a bad rash? I was finally feelin’ decent, now I’m red And I sneezed so hard I passed out on my bed Oh me Why’d I hafta be allergic to me Why’d I hafta be allergic to me Even Purell won’t sit next to me Oh me Why’d I hafta be allergic to me Why’d I hafta be allergic to me I need a hug but I break out instantly