Greetings... humanity! We are... alien... you see. Studying... Earth's... chemistry. From mineral... to fungee... we tested... extensively. When we came to... animal... All was... quite... normal. Except... for one... specimen... An odd... scientific... gem... We found... something... very... strange... An individual... outside... the... chemical... range. In a... four-element... compound... Uranium(U)... and... Phosphorus(P)... we found. Two others... we couldn't... identify. Two unknowns... we wondered... why... Closer research... has shown... Uranium(U)... and... Phosphorus(P)... to be... radioactive... and toxic. U... Uranium... P... Phosphorus, We decided... to express... in chemical... notation... Tr...and M Laid out... this way... one made... more sense. Tr... is a... fantasy... element. To make... this... quaternary... compound... That someone... had to... invent... Tr... is the... most... unreliable... substance. Tr... unlike... its neighbors... Ts... and Og... which decay... instantly. Tr... exists... in a state... of meta-stability. Tr... doesn't... decay... instead... it phases out... into... alternative... realities... If you try... to measure it... The act... of observation... causes it... to change... properties. One moment... it's a gas... The next... a liquid... Then a solid... Then... Soiled. Still... one more... to go. And after... a week... or so. We got... to the bottom... of this... mess. M... Moronius. M... Atomic Number... 119.7. M... is the second... element... of period... eight. M... instead... of being... a strong... reactive... metal... M is... clueless. M... decays... by turning... into a puddle... of confused... sludge. Atoms... of M... constantly... change... their mind. One second... they want... to bond... with Oxygen... The next... second... M reacts... with itself... to form... M2... a molecule... that immediately... falls apart... Unless... protected... by cold... ICE. Chemically... speaking... we found... Tr-U-M-P. Troubliun(Tr)... Uranium(U)... Moronius(M)... Phosphorus(P). Tr... U... M... P. TRUMP!!! (A chemical impossibility that exists only as a joke, a dangerous glitch in the fabric of reality. It is the compound of absurdity!) One more... thing... we have... to tell. It came... with a slow... unpleasant... smell. And then... life... became... hell... A solid... toxic... exotic... crystal... was also... found. A Ternary... compound... Bismuth (Bi)... Boron(B)... Iodine(I). It cannot... exist... as a single... molecule. But is so... reactive... that immediately... bonds... With... Tr-U-M-P... to form... a larger... structure. Bi-B-I... BIBI!!! Looking... carefully... we found... many more. They are... to us... a chemical... eyesore. Made by... Direct... Nitridation. By Chemical... Vapor... Transport. Or by... Carbothermal... Reduction. We think... most are... human... creation. So before... you lose... your north... Humans... Please... it is urgent... take action... Stop... this... aberration. PS; Just as... we were... leaving... this planet. We found... another... likely... unstable... muppet. Ternary... Actinide... Transition... Metal... Nitride. Very hard... conductive... radioactive... and highly... toxic. Plutonium(Pu)... Titanium(Ti)... and Nitrogen(N). Pu... Ti... N... PUTIN!!! Good luck... earthlings...
