Santa’s Rap (p. 1)

Duet, dark carnival, acid techno, noise rock, horrorcore, whistling solo

Kool Moe Dee:
Ho Ho Ho
Open up ya do′
I'm Santa Claus and guess what y′all
I got something to show
I came to bring some Christmas Spirit
I got a big bag now guess what's in it
Something for the rich and something for the po'
So Merry Christmas and ho ho ho
L.A. Sunshine:
Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas my foot
I′ma tell you what Santa really put
Under my so-called tree but in reality
Looked like nothin but a decorated pole to me
Special K:
Man, you talk about a tree it makes wonder
Cause I never had a tree to put anything under
If I ever did luck up and get a tree
There was never anything under it for me
Kool Moe Dee:
Man I don′t what y'all talking about
Cause when I come to your town I just get chased out
I thought you would be happy to see Santa Claus
But all y′all say is stick 'em up and give me yours
L.A. Sunshine:
You lucky all you did was get ripped off
The next just keep your big fat ass up north
Because after my last few Christmas nights
If I see you around my neighborhood I′m shooting on sight
Special K:
And I ain't even got a chimney for you to come down
So ain′t no need for you to be coming around
Cause the last so called Santa that came in with a sack
Wasn't giving out presents he was taking them back
Kool Moe Dee:
Man y'all should be glad that I didn′t quit
Cause I′m getting too old for this Santa Claus shit
Y'all thinking I′m getting presents made for free
I gotta' pay them elves and ain′t nobody paying me
L.A. Sunshine:
You big fat whale you might as well quit
Cause I can name a hundred presents that I didn't get
And if I did get a present it would be a hand-me-down
Yo I got this for Christmas now how that sound
Special K:
It sounds good to me cause I′m about to freeze
You wanna see something look at the bottom of these
Me and brothers can't go out at the same time
Cause a coat that's theirs is a coat that′s mine
Kool Moe Dee:
Man I know one thing y′all better get off my neck
And wait till you get ya welfare check
Go on down to the office and stand on the line
Better hurry up see I got mine
Chorus:
Jingle, Jangle, Jingle for the po'
And once you get your welfare check
Yo kiss my mistletoe
Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho
L.A. Sunshine:
That′s why the presents keep getting mixed up
Cause year after year you keep fucking up
And now I know why cause you're always drunk
Instead of G.I. Joe you send me this junk
Special K:
That ain′t a G.I. Joe that's a G.I. jerk
With a kungfu grip that don′t even work
So all I did was just put him away
Cause my G.I. Joe looked G.I. gay
Kool Moe Dee:
That's why you don't get presents now
Cause you′re just ingrates
If the G.I. Joe is gay what difference does it make
After all he′s just a doll ain't too much he can do
If you ask me boy I ain′t to sure about you
Special K:
Man forget about that what about these shoes
Instead of Christmas Carols I'm singing the blues
Staring at the clock looking hard at the time
Cause I just played the number combinated on a dime

2933/7500

Kool Moe Dee: Ho Ho Ho Open up ya do′ I'm Santa Claus and guess what y′all I got something to show I came to bring some Christmas Spirit I got a big bag now guess what's in it Something for the rich and something for the po' So Merry Christmas and ho ho ho L.A. Sunshine: Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas my foot I′ma tell you what Santa really put Under my so-called tree but in reality Looked like nothin but a decorated pole to me Special K: Man, you talk about a tree it makes wonder Cause I never had a tree to put anything under If I ever did luck up and get a tree There was never anything under it for me Kool Moe Dee: Man I don′t what y'all talking about Cause when I come to your town I just get chased out I thought you would be happy to see Santa Claus But all y′all say is stick 'em up and give me yours L.A. Sunshine: You lucky all you did was get ripped off The next just keep your big fat ass up north Because after my last few Christmas nights If I see you around my neighborhood I′m shooting on sight Special K: And I ain't even got a chimney for you to come down So ain′t no need for you to be coming around Cause the last so called Santa that came in with a sack Wasn't giving out presents he was taking them back Kool Moe Dee: Man y'all should be glad that I didn′t quit Cause I′m getting too old for this Santa Claus shit Y'all thinking I′m getting presents made for free I gotta' pay them elves and ain′t nobody paying me L.A. Sunshine: You big fat whale you might as well quit Cause I can name a hundred presents that I didn't get And if I did get a present it would be a hand-me-down Yo I got this for Christmas now how that sound Special K: It sounds good to me cause I′m about to freeze You wanna see something look at the bottom of these Me and brothers can't go out at the same time Cause a coat that's theirs is a coat that′s mine Kool Moe Dee: Man I know one thing y′all better get off my neck And wait till you get ya welfare check Go on down to the office and stand on the line Better hurry up see I got mine Chorus: Jingle, Jangle, Jingle for the po' And once you get your welfare check Yo kiss my mistletoe Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho L.A. Sunshine: That′s why the presents keep getting mixed up Cause year after year you keep fucking up And now I know why cause you're always drunk Instead of G.I. Joe you send me this junk Special K: That ain′t a G.I. Joe that's a G.I. jerk With a kungfu grip that don′t even work So all I did was just put him away Cause my G.I. Joe looked G.I. gay Kool Moe Dee: That's why you don't get presents now Cause you′re just ingrates If the G.I. Joe is gay what difference does it make After all he′s just a doll ain't too much he can do If you ask me boy I ain′t to sure about you Special K: Man forget about that what about these shoes Instead of Christmas Carols I'm singing the blues Staring at the clock looking hard at the time Cause I just played the number combinated on a dime

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