[Intro - Glitchy, distorted voice with heavy reverb and skips] Yo... papal sanction glitchin'... Catholicism Wow... but the cross still depressin'... Fallen angels hackin' the mainframe... Existence buffer overflow... let's ride. [Chorus - Catchy, anthemic with winky vocal chops and thumbs-up sound FX] Do the Buddy Christ thumbs up with a wink! (wink-wink-glitch) Smile wide, point at you, never let 'em sink! Dogmatic law say whatever we hold true on Earth... God gotta cosign in Heaven, or the whole shit burst! Do the Buddy Christ thumbs up with a wink! (thumbs up—glitch—wink!) Catholicism Wow, flip the script, make faith less bleak! One loophole and poof—universe delete... Buddy got your back... or we all obsolete! [Verse 1 - Fast glitch-rap flow, dark humor] Bartleby and Loki on a redemption quest, Banned from Heaven, now they schemin' like it's chess. "Whatever you bind on Earth, I'll bind in the cloud," Papal firmware update—God can't back out now. Cardinal Glick in the pulpit like "Crucifix? Depressin' as fuck," Replace that dead guy with Buddy—thumbs up, big grin, what the luck! Mary got laid after Jesus, Rufus said it plain, Thirteenth apostle blacked out the Bible—Chris Rock with the cane. Golgothan shit demon risin' from the graves, While angels plot to die human and get the plenary save. But one wrong move and reality buffers—crash, Prove God fallible? Boom—Big Bang in reverse, ash to ash. [Chorus] Do the Buddy Christ thumbs up with a wink! (wink-wink-glitch) Smile wide, point at you, never let 'em sink! Dogmatic law say whatever we hold true on Earth... God gotta cosign in Heaven, or the whole shit burst! Do the Buddy Christ thumbs up with a wink! (thumbs up—glitch—wink!) Catholicism Wow, flip the script, make faith less bleak! One loophole and poof—universe delete... Buddy got your back... or we all obsolete! [Verse 2 - Darker, slower build with glitch stutters and horror laughs] Bethany slinging abortions, last Scion in the clinic, Metatron burnin' bushes like "Girl, you the ticket." Jay and Silent Bob droppin' wisdom with the blunt, While two fallen bros risk non-existence for a heavenly punt. Dogma's a virus— if the Church says it, God must obey, But hack the code wrong and it's lights out, no replay. Buddy Christ dashboard bobbin' on the highway to hell, Winkin' at the demons like "Y'all good? Ring the bell!" Perpetual virginity? Nah, Joseph hit it post-birth, Faith so flexible it bends till the fabric of the Earth... Unravels. Poof. Thanks to a loophole and some pride, Two angels tryna go home—now the multiverse died. Laugh in the face of the void, give it the double thumbs, Existence canceled... but at least the vibe was fun. [Bridge - Glitched-out spoken word over warped choir and bass wobbles] It's not divine mandate... it's church law, man. Papal sanction, baby—God bound by the fine print scam. One plenary indulgence, die right after... And Heaven gotta open or the whole damn cosmos fracture. (Glitch laughter) Catholicism... Wow... [Final Chorus - Bigger, with layered distorted ad-libs and final glitch breakdown] Do the Buddy Christ thumbs up with a wink! (wink—glitch—thumbs up!) Smile wide, point at you—don't overthink! Dogmatic law got the universe on a string... One wrong prayer and we all go ping—nothing. Do the Buddy Christ thumbs up with a wink! Buddy Christ—your pal, your bro, your everything! Faith so lit it might just end it all... Thumbs up, wink... universe.exe has stopped responding. [Outro - Fading glitches, distant demonic chuckle] Catholicism Wow... Or bye-bye reality... Thumbs up... wink... static
