BLACKWATER BROADCAST — “THE BEAST OF BRAMBLE BAY” [Intro — Gravelly Radio Announcer] Blackwater Broadcast, live across Titans Maw! We’ve received reports of a terrible noise along the coast. Descriptions include “sea monster,” “angry mountain,” And “probably somebody else’s problem.” Naturally, we sent our least expensive reporter. [Accordion Riff — Stomps Begin] [Verse 1] There came a sound through the midnight fog That shook the crooked pier. The gallis dropped their supper scraps And said, “We’re leaving here!” It rolled across the blackened bay, Then rattled through the reeds. A ptera swore he’d seen six heads— Though he’d only heard it sneeze. [Chorus — Lead and Crew] What’s that rolling over the water? WHAT’S THAT SHAKING UP THE BAY? Who’s got teeth like broken anchors? WHO’S GOT SOMETHING BRAVE TO SAY? Raise the lantern, count your neighbours, Keep the little ones in sight— Blackwater’s hunting down a story, And the story’s loud tonight! [Radio Bulletin — Spoken] Our six-headed monster report has been revised. The witness now says, “Possibly five.” We have asked him to stop helping. [Verse 2] The deino volunteered to lead, Then stopped beside the shore: “I’d love to help, but I’ve just heard The ferry needs a floor.” So a raptor took the narrow trail, With a ptera up above. Every time that thunder sounded, Down came leaves and bits of mud. They passed a stump, they climbed a bank, They peered behind a stone— And found a rex beneath the ferns, Fast asleep and all alone. [Chorus — Full Crew] What’s that rolling over the water? WHAT’S THAT SHAKING UP THE BAY? Who’s got teeth like broken anchors? WHO’S GOT SOMETHING BRAVE TO SAY? Raise the lantern, count your neighbours, Keep the little ones in sight— Blackwater’s hunting down a story, And the story’s loud tonight! [Instrumental — Fiddle and Accordion] [Bridge — Quiet, Sneaking Rhythm] The raptor whispered, “Mystery solved.” The ptera said, “I knew.” Then landed on a brittle branch— And snapped the thing in two. [One Heavy Drum Hit — Silence] [Spoken — Very Quietly] …Good evening, sir. Do you have a moment for local radio? [Final Chorus — Faster, Jubilant Crew] That’s what’s rolling over the water! THAT’S WHAT’S SHAKING UP THE BAY! Just a rex who likes his sleeping— AND WOULD LIKE US FAR AWAY! Lower the lantern, count your neighbours, Let the poor old fellow lie— Blackwater’s found tonight’s big story, And we’re waving it goodbye! [Outro — Radio Announcer] The beast of Bramble Bay has requested quiet hours. We have agreed. Sunscale Radio has offered him a relaxation programme. He says he was already relaxed. Blackwater Broadcast. We lose sleep so you don’t have to.
