# NASTY & BLUE *Christmas Blues Rock / Naughty Holiday Anthem* [Intro - Spoken, low raspy voice] Ho, ho, ho... Well, look who's back. Santa, you better check that list twice. 'Cause I ain't been nice! [Verse 1] I'm nasty, I'm bad, I'm the best damn trouble That you've ever had. Naughty or nice? I know what page I'm on. Been raising hell Since the day I was born. Got my boots by the fireplace, Whiskey in my cup, Santa's coming down the chimney, Better buckle up. I ain't asking for forgiveness, Ain't pretending to be good, I've been doing all the things That Santa said I never should. [Pre-Chorus] He knows when I've been sleeping, He knows when I'm awake, But if he's keeping score tonight, He's gonna need a little break! [Chorus] I'm nasty! I'm bad! I'm the kind of Christmas trouble That you've never had! Naughty or nice, I know what page I'm on! Santa's got a job to do, And I'm feeling both nasty and blue! Oh, nasty! So bad! Put me on the naughty list, It's the best I've ever had! Ring those bells, Let the whole damn world come through! Santa's got a job to do, And I'm feeling both nasty and blue! [Verse 2] Got a stocking full of nothing, And a head full of sin, Left the front door open, Let the trouble come in. Mrs. Claus is laughing, Rudolph's seeing red, And the elves are all complaining 'Bout the things I said. I put hot sauce in the eggnog, Played the blues till three, Woke the neighbors singing "Christmas ain't for me!" Now there's knocking on my rooftop, And a shadow in the snow, If that's Santa with my presents, There's something he should know! [Pre-Chorus] I don't need no halo, Don't need no angel wings, Just a six-string and a backbeat And a Christmas song to sing! [Chorus] I'm nasty! I'm bad! I'm the kind of Christmas trouble That you've never had! Naughty or nice, I know what page I'm on! Santa's got a job to do, And I'm feeling both nasty and blue! Oh, nasty! So bad! Put me on the naughty list, It's the best I've ever had! Ring those bells, Let the whole damn world come through! Santa's got a job to do, And I'm feeling both nasty and blue! [Instrumental Break - Dirty blues guitar solo, sleigh bells and pounding drums] [Bridge - Half-time, spoken/sung] Santa came knocking At a quarter past two, Said, "Boy, I've got a bone To pick with you." I said, "Come on in, Put your sack on the floor." He said, "I've seen your kind, But never quite like yours." I said, "Where's my present?" He said, "Son, you're outta luck." Then he pulled out a guitar From the back of his truck. [Build - Drums and guitar rising] One, two! One, two, three, four! [Final Chorus - Full band, explosive] I'm nasty! I'm bad! I'm the best damn Christmas That you've ever had! Naughty or nice, I know what page I'm on! Santa's got a job to do, And I'm feeling both nasty and blue! I'm nasty! I'm bad! A little bit of trouble Never made Christmas bad! Ring those bells, Let the midnight blues come through! Santa's got a job to do, And I'm feeling both nasty and blue! [Outro - Slowing down, gritty guitar] Nasty and blue... Yeah, Santa, you know it's true. Put some coal in my stocking, And a bottle there too. Ho, ho, ho... Merry Christmas, you filthy animals! [Final guitar sting]
