[Verse 1] Y'all told me if I voted blue The economy would burn right through Debt would triple, gas would soar We'd be marching off to another war Well I pulled that lever, cast my vote Watched the whole prediction come afloat Every word came true somehow Man, I gotta hand it to you now [Pre-Chorus] You got a crystal ball or somethin'? A hotline straight to fate? 'Cause everything you swore would happen Happened right on schedule, right on date [Chorus] Impressive. Real impressive. Y'all called the whole dang thing. Impressive. So impressive. How'd you know just what 2025 would bring? Almost like you had a hand in it Almost like you made it swing But no — it's just impressive That prophecy thing [Verse 2] Said the debt would climb up like a kite Said the gas pumps'd rob me blind at night Said Iran would light the fuse Well would you look at the evening news Funny how the folks who called the shot Are the same ones pullin' every knot But sure, I'll play along and say You saw it comin' all the way [Pre-Chorus] You got a crystal ball or somethin'? A hotline straight to fate? 'Cause everything you swore would happen Happened right on schedule, right on date [Chorus] Impressive. Real impressive. Y'all called the whole dang thing. Impressive. So impressive. How'd you know just what 2025 would bring? Almost like you had a hand in it Almost like you made it swing But no — it's just impressive That prophecy thing [Bridge — spoken, flat and done with it] No, no, I mean it. Truly. Debt, gas, war — check, check, check. It all fucking happened. Next time just tell me the lottery numbers. Save us both the trouble. [Verse 3] Funny thing about a prophecy When the prophet's holdin' the machinery You don't need a vision, don't need a sign When you're the one drawin' the line So here's to the psychics in the boardroom chair Predicting chaos, then puttin' it there Bravo, boys, take a bow I'm impressed — but I know how [Final Chorus] Impressive. Real impressive. Y'all called the whole dang thing. Impressive. So impressive. Funny how a curse becomes a king Almost like you had a hand in it Almost like you made it swing Yeah — that's some impressive Prophecy thing [Outro] Impressive... impressive... Real impressive... (spoken) Y'all should write greeting cards.
