Rap Battle of everybody's History: Chuck Norris vs. Das Universum

[Neutral voice] Let’s get cosmic, let’s get raw! Chuck Norris steps up—can the Universe brawl? Let the battle begin, no rules to follow, Roundhouse kicks or black holes to swallow! --- [Male rough voice] They said bring the Universe? I’ll make it a joke, I’ll spin galaxies like nunchucks—watch 'em all choke! I split atoms with my fists, don’t need your Big Bang, When Chuck Norris drops bars, stars collapse—bang bang! I roundhouse-kicked time, now the clock’s my slave, Infinity bows, even black holes behave. You’re infinite? Nah, I’m beyond your dimensions, Your chaos is weak, I’m perfection’s invention! --- [Female soft voice] Oh Chuck, you’re a speck in my vast domain, A flash of existence in my eternal plane. I birthed the stars, shaped every horizon, Your fists mean nothing—try punching a Dyson! Your legends are myths, my truth is eternal, I’ll crush your ego in a spiral infernal. The cosmos reigns supreme, infinite in form, You’re just a Texas cowboy lost in the storm! --- [Male rough voice] Storms? I ride 'em; I’m the eye in the spin, Your chaos trembles when my battles begin. You’re infinite? Please, that’s a nerd’s little dream, I define reality, I’m the supreme meme! Gravity bows when I step in the ring, Even light gets scared, won’t challenge this king. Your black holes are cool, but they can’t hold me, I roundhouse the cosmos, my power is key! --- [Female soft voice] Meme? I’m math, energy, cosmic design, Your ego’s a ripple in spacetime divine. You’re just stardust, Chuck, a product of me, I’m the alpha, omega, eternity’s spree. I’ve got quarks and dark matter, dimensions untold, While your myths grow old, my truths unfold. You may punch, kick, and roundhouse your way, But I’ll exist long after Chuck fades away. --- [Both voices] Who won? Who’s next? The answer’s unclear, This rap battle echoes through the cosmic frontier! Chuck Norris or the Universe—it’s infinity’s call, But remember: Chuck doesn’t lose—he just lets you brawl.