“Tiger, you think today’s gonna be normal?” “Normal’s on vacation. We’re runnin’ the weird shift now.” “…figured as much.” 1-2-3-4! Mama packed my lunch just about right, Bologna sandwich and a juice box tight, Teacher said “pay attention, son” But there’s aliens in math class and the bell just rung. I drew a rocket on my spelling test, Teacher called it “creative” — I call it “the best”, Principal says I need discipline bad, But my stuffed tiger says I’m brilliantly mad. He says, “Kid, the world’s a funny place, Make funny faces and run the race…” My tiger talks back, tells me lies are real, Says homework’s illegal and pizza should heal, He says the dog plots crime and the girl’s too smart, And snowmen come alive after dark in the yard! My tiger talks back, yeah he’s my best man, He hates bath time and he loves my plan, If it sounds crazy, then maybe that’s fact, ’Cause every good day… my tiger talks back! Tried to build a sled from an old tin pan, Went downhill fast like a stuntman scam, Hit a snowbank hard, saw a future me, Still wearin’ striped pajamas and laughin’ at gravity. Dad says, “Son, you oughta slow that brain,” I said, “Sir, imagination’s got no brake chain!” He said, “Boy, this world is real and plain,” My tiger winked wide and said, “That’s insane.” He said, “Kid, if life’s a boring show, Add explosions and let ’em go…” My tiger talks back, tells the truth in jokes, Says bedtime’s a rumor spread by grown-up folks, He says monsters are scared of kids like me, And the dark just wants company. My tiger talks back, yeah he’s my right hand man, He’s fearless, shirtless, and hates canned plans, If growing up’s quiet, I don’t want that track, I’m stayin’ right here where my tiger talks back! One day I’ll be tall with bills to pay, Wear a tie and forget how to play, But tonight there’s a cardboard box spaceship flight, And a tiger who swears we can outrun the night! Tiger! (whoop!) Kid! (yeah!) Livin’ loud and legally weird! My tiger talks back, says don’t get old inside, Keep dirt on your jeans and stars in your mind, He says when life’s heavy and starts gettin’ tight, Draw a door on the wall and escape tonight! My tiger talks back, and I talk too loud, We don’t need logic, we run on “wow,” If magic’s a crime then lock my tracks, ’Cause I’m guilty as charged… And my tiger talks back! Mama says, “Boy, you’ll understand someday…” My tiger just grins… And pulls me away. “What if all this is just pretend?” “Then pretend it loud.” “…I can do that.”
