It enslaves my day, my day... I didn’t choose to start this fitness race, My phone’s app forced me into this disgrace. It makes me fill the activity rings, And shouts: "Your ring’s not full!" - it stings. This wretched app has taken me in thrall, It knows my name - though I’ve not told it all. It nags me: "Time to walk! Now walk, don’t wait!" I can’t resist - it’s getting rather late. Perhaps it’s training me for something grand? Soon it will say: "Steal a Ferrari, batshit crazy! To fill your activity window, dear, You must do more" - it’s crystal clear!" One day I walked - but left my phone behind, That walk, it seems, was useless, undefined. I thought: I’ll come and shout into my phone: "‘I walked! I walked!" - all on my own!” But that wretched app replies with bitter glee: "You walked? Where? I see no mobility. I thought you died - your steps have disappeared, Your ring’s not full!" - my hopes have all been seared. This wretched app has taken me in thrall, It knows my name - it’s got me in its thrall. "Your activity ring’s not full!" it cries, And in its grip, my freedom slowly dies. Activity ring, you enslave my day, But I’m not breaking, I’ll find my way. My rules, my pace - I draw the line, Hope’s still burning, it’s still mine. Activity ring, you’re chaining me, Aаааа - just let me be batshit Activity ring... "To steal a rickshaw?" I'm not going to steal a rickshaw. Hold on tight - let’s hit the road, wow! Hold on tight, Ehho, let's go-go-goооооо wow!
