Daddy, He's Just a Boy

[Intro — bouncy piano, acoustic guitar] Daddy... Before ya say anything— He's just a boy. [Verse 1] He came by Friday evening At a perfectly decent hour, Had his hair combed, shirt tucked in, Even Mama brought out flowers. He said, Mr. Quinn, it's nice to meet ya. Daddy stared him up and down. Billy wandered through the kitchen. Alton somehow just... Appeared. [spoken] Why are all three of ya here? [Pre-Chorus] He ain't carryin' a weapon. He ain't wanted by the law. He's got braces, for God's sake, Daddy— He's five-foot-nine in awe! [Chorus] Daddy, he's just a boy! He ain't the end of civilization! He asked me to the movies, Not to flee across the nation! Billy, stop interrogatin'! Alton, wipe off that expression! We're gonna see a picture, child, Not start the Great Depression! Daddy, he's just a boy! Mama, tell 'em they're insane! [Mama] Leave your sister be. [Chloe] Thank you! [Mama] And be home before ten. [Chloe] ...traitor. [Verse 2] Daddy asked him what his plans were. He said, College, sir, I think. Billy asked his GPA. Alton asked if he could swim. [pause] Why? Why would that matter? Are ya planning somethin' aquatic? Then Daddy asked about his family, His intentions and his car. Child, we're going twenty minutes To a theater that's not far! And every answer made 'em grimmer. Poor lad's sweatin' through his shirt. I whispered, Don't worry, they're harmless. [spoken] Statistically. Probably. [Chorus] Daddy, he's just a boy! He ain't some silver-tongued deceiver! He gets nervous ordering pizza And still thinks wrestling's real! Billy, quit inspectin' his tires! Alton, let him have his coat! If ya scare away another one, I'm buying Daddy a bloody moat! Daddy, he's just a boy! Why's everybody actin' strange? We're gonna sit in row eleven, Then he's bringing me home again! [Bridge — piano, playful fiddle] Someday I'm gonna be eighteen. Someday maybe twenty-one. Someday there'll be someone ya can't frighten No matter what ya've done. And what's the plan then, gentlemen? Stand guard outside me door? Follow me around Vermont Until I'm forty-four? [beat] Daddy doesn't answer. Billy suddenly finds the floor. Alton looks at Daddy. [Chloe] Why does that worry me more? [Verse 3 — softer, still playful] I know ya love me, Daddy. I know those idiots do too. I know I'm still yer little girl No matter what I say or do. But ya taught me how to trust meself. Ya taught me right from wrong. So sooner or later ya gotta trust That maybe ya taught me strong. [Final Chorus — full band] Daddy, he's just a boy! And I'm just a girl who likes him! I ain't packing up me bedroom! I ain't askin' ya to like him! Billy, quit the older-brother act! Alton, stop blockin' the door! Daddy, I'm askin' for two hours— [Daddy] One-forty-five. [Chloe] Two! One-fifty. Two! Home by ten. [pause] Deal. Daddy, he's just a boy! So everybody please relax! [spoken, heading out] And nobody follow us. [silence] Billy. Give Daddy his truck keys back. [Outro — fiddle and guitar] He opened up the car door. I thought, Well, this could be nice. Then I looked back toward the farmhouse— Three silhouettes. Watching. [Chloe, calling back] HE'S. JUST. A. BOY! [Daddy, distant] Nine-fifty! [Chloe] We said ten! [Daddy] Changed my mind! [Chloe] Mama! [Mama, distant] Have fun, sweetheart! [Chloe] That's it. I'm goin' to college in California.