[Intro, wind sound effects] ...You're running as fast as you can into the woods, trails blazing. ....You think "I'm faster than Sonic the Hedgehog, this is fucking amazing.".... You stop in the middle of a huge opening. There, you see a hole. Your heart rate is rising. You run over to the hole, And what do you see? Sasquatch looking up, smilling. His two hands are closed, and he says... [Climax] "Red pill or Blue pill?" [Main Riff] [Short guitar solo] [Chorus] "Red pill me baby." Is that what you say? Fuck yeah, dude, I'm not getting blue pilled by Sasquatch today (He'd probably try to date rape me) He's down a 2 foot hole? He's 6 foot 8, So he's the same size of you.. Do you mean to say- (It's up to his ankles?!) [Guitar Solo] "So if I take the blue pill, what happens?" does he open up the hole and go further down still? Well, you'll have to see, you'll have to see... Red pill or blue pill? "Okay, I say red pill..." He opens his hand, and he eats it. Then he goes: "bye bye." "That's the red pill?" Yeah, he goes "Bye bye." If you say blue pill, he goes "Watch this.", and he pulls a snake out of the hole. He squeezes it as hard as he can, he smashes it against the side of the hole, and it dies. He smiles and he says- "You want?" "You want snake? I guess this is your Circle of Life here, I guess this is okay... [Dramatic Buildup] he looks at you, his mouth opens, his eyes bulge and he says... You can TALK?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [maniacal laughter] [short Guitar Solo] He digs as deep, as hard, as fast as he can go. Digs a million feet in the earth in one second, then he buries himself So no one could know. (What happened? Why just-- what are you doing in this clearing?") WHAT AM I GOING TO SAY? Sasquatch was here! I swear to god! Believe what I'm saying! ("Who did-- who did, what happened?") It was Sasquatch! I ran into the real Sasquatch! "Okay. Okay. Wait, wait back up a second... Sasquatch...?" His hands were like spades! He dug into the ground, He covered himself up from inside So he couldn't be found! [Bridge] But then, a female sasquatch, comes out of the clearing. ("Does she have big hairy tits?") "Fufufu.. a Sasquatch with spectacles, have you ever seen such a thing?" I'd say "NOOOO!" [Guitar solo] What would you do if you woke to your wife, and you found out she was a Sasquatch? ("I thought you were gonna say you were being cucked by a Sasquatch") How has she been hiding this? you can see from the proportions of-- "SHE WAS WEARING MAKEUP!!" ...Okay, that's fair. I guess I would just try to shoo her out of my house. [Outro] [Female Voice] "I thought you loved me and my hot pigtails! You said you always cum with my pigtails every day!!" [Male Voice] "Are you a smart Sasquatch? [Male Voice]"How many others of you's are smart??" [Female voice] "Yes, my first name is Sas, my last name is Quatch! I thought you knew!!" [END OF SONG]
