“Legend spoke of a nanny…” “With a handbag full of biscuits…” “And a heart full of sass.” (beat drop) “She’s back. And this time, she’s got a map.” She tiptoes past the cobra pit Lipstick flawless, not a smidge of grit Torch in hand, she reads the runes “Tea at noon, doom by afternoon” Her specs reflect the ancient glow She’s seen it all, from snow to Soho But this cursed tomb’s a different game And Nanny’s here to stake her claim Whispers echo through the stone “Leave the idol, face it alone…” But she just winks and grabs the prize With biscuit crumbs and narrowed eyes Nanny’s on the run, from the temple of doom Swingin’ through the jungle, past the snakes and gloom She’s cheeky, she’s bold, with a twinkle and a broom Saving ancient secrets in her sensible costume Fedora on tight, and her whip’s in hand She’s rewriting legends with a one-woman band From Cornwall to Cairo, she’s changing the tune It’s Nanny’s last stand in the temple of doom [She bribes a monkey with a custard cream Disarms a trap with her classic scheme A sarcophagus opens, she doesn’t flinch Just mutters, “That’s a bit much, don’t you think?” She’s dodged lasers, danced through fire Her pension fund’s her sole desire But if the world needs saving now She’ll do it with a raised eyebrow Ancient spirits rise and roar But Nanny’s seen it all before She’s faced the PTA and worse This tomb’s just one more cheeky curse So she sips her tea, adjusts her bun And tells the ghosts, “I’m nearly done.” Nanny’s on the run, from the temple of doom Swingin’ through the jungle, past the snakes and gloom She’s cheeky, she’s bold, with a twinkle and a broom Saving ancient secrets in her sensible costume Fedora on tight, and her whip’s in hand She’s rewriting legends with a one-woman band From Cornwall to Cairo, she’s changing the tune It’s Nanny’s last stand in the temple of doom “Some say she vanished with the idol…” “Others say she opened a salon in Penzance.” (pause) “But we know the truth. She’s out there.” “And she’s still got biscuits.”
