[Intro: Classic surf guitar slide - "Wipeout" style] [Sound of a tray of glasses rattling, then a sudden silence] [Rowdy: Spoken, very relaxed] Whoa... gravity’s acting real gnarly today, dudes. Total wipeout in Section B. But hey, look—the martini didn't even spill. That’s like... physics, man. Righteous. [Verse 1] The Deck is spinning like a washing machine I’m the clumsiest waiter that you’ve ever seen I trip on a shadow, I slip on the floor But I catch every bottle ‘fore it hits the door Laizer’s looking salty, Bianca’s on a roll I’m just serving shooters to the beautiful souls Jacques is barking orders in a French-Aussie blur I’m just vibing with the cosmos and the rhythm of the purr. [Pre-Chorus] I see the vibes, I see the light I see the way you’re clutching that napkin so tight Observational? Totally. I’m reading the room While I’m dodging a tray and a sonic boom! [Chorus] He’s Rowdy, the waiter on a cosmic wave Surfing the sim for the brain-power he craves "Cognitive skills," yeah, he’s hanging ten In a virtual ocean, then he does it again From California dreams to the deep-space blue He’s the chillest dude in the whole damn crew! [Verse 2] [Sound of a digital "Power Up" chime] Plug me in the sim, let me feel the spray Gotta sharpen up my neurons for the working day Calculating vectors on a longboard rail Better for the brain than a session with Tarz's tail I’m dodging virtual sharks and a solar flare Developing my focus with some salty air When I’m back on the floor, I’m a mental machine Even if I just walked into a vending machine! [Bridge: Slapstick Instrumental Break] [Sound of: Slide-whistle up, crashing glass, "Whoa!", a perfect 'ding' of a bell] [Rowdy: Spoken] Did you guys see that? I just did a 360-kickflip over a mop bucket. Totally improved my spatial awareness, man. Claudia, babe, you got a wrench? I think I just surfer-dude-dislocated my elbow. Radical. [Chorus] He’s Rowdy, the waiter on a cosmic wave Surfing the sim for the brain-power he craves "Cognitive skills," yeah, he’s hanging ten In a virtual ocean, then he does it again From California dreams to the deep-space blue He’s the chillest dude in the whole damn crew! [Outro: Spoken] [Fading surf guitar] Stay stoked, cats. Hey, is that whiskey supposed to be glowing? Jacques said it was "absurdist." Tastes like... purple. Catch ya on the next orbit, dudes. [Sound of a bubble popping] [End]
