“Their latest album’s catchy, but it lacks a little punch!” What did he sayyy? Lead Denture: “Catchy but no punch? I’ll give you a crunch— When I BITE with a Broadway lunch! YAAAA!! We’re singing, snapping in time, Clacking to rhythm, chomping on rhyme! You can mock our gums, but we’ll never retire, We’re polished, we’re pearly, we’re dentures on fire! I used to sing too LOUD, they told me to hush, So I formed a band where the teeth go CRUSH! We croon in falsetto, we belt in molar tones, Shake the stage floorboards, rattle your bones! We’re singing, bite what you say, Chewing up gossip the musical way! Don’t call us old—our grooves are inspired, We’re polished, we’re pearly, we’re dentures on fire! “What’s ‘singing’? Is it fireworks?” “No, a typo! They meant ‘cursing’ with smirks!” “Cursing!? Fireworks!? Bah, you fools! We’re a dental sensation, not carnival tools!” Whaaaaaa!! We’re singing, rootless, but bold, Snapping out stories too surreal to be told! So if you think our bite’s not quite enough— Remember: our joke is supposed to sound rough! "This tale is made-up, a gag we confess, A shiny absurdity in musical dress! Ha ha! It’s funny, not fake, so laugh if you please— And give a standing ovation… to the Denture-ees!" We’re singing, snapping in time, Clacking to rhythm, chomping on rhyme! You can mock our gums, but we’ll never retire, We’re polished, we’re pearly, we’re dentures on fire!
