I Only Sound Honest When I’m Screaming Ft R.E.D

[Intro ] I tried to say it softly once… It sounded like a lie. [Verse 1 – One’s Own Life:] Every word comes out rehearsed Like I’m reading from a script I hate Mouth moves but it don’t feel mine Just a clean-cut version I fabricate I nod, I smile, I play it safe Keep it calm so no one sees But every sentence feels erased Before it even leaves my teeth [Pre-Chorus – One’s Own Life: ] If I say it quiet— It disappears If I keep it steady— No one hears [Chorus – One’s Own Life: ] I ONLY SOUND HONEST WHEN I’M SCREAMING TEAR MY VOICE JUST TO MEAN IT If it’s calm, it’s fake, I don’t believe it— I ONLY FEEL REAL WHEN I’M BLEEDING Every truth I choke down quietly Turns to something I don’t recognise So I set it all on fire just to say it— OR IT NEVER COMES OUT RIGHT [Verse 2 – One’s Own Life:] I tried to whisper what I meant Watched it die inside my chest Like the volume killed the meaning Like the silence did the rest You say “talk it out, be honest” Like it’s something I can choose But every time I lower it— I dilute it into nothing new [Pre-Chorus – One’s Own Life] If I hold it under— It corrodes If I don’t explode— It never shows [Verse 3 – R.E.D: ] You hear anger in my voice I hear panic trying to breathe Like every word comes out twisted Before it even reaches me I could hand you the honest truth You’d still say it’s too much So I learned to break it into pieces Before I say what it was Now every conversation Feels like wearing someone else And the person talking calmly Sounds like anybody else Every time I try to talk about it I can feel the whole thing locking up Got a hundred different versions of the truth And every one of them is not enough Cut it up, clean it up, make it digestible Turn emotion into something acceptable Then I hear it back and it’s unrecognizable Like I traded honesty for being professional Now I’m pacing in circles Head full of noise and the signal disperses Everybody wants truth till the truth gets personal Then they panic the second the tone gets urgent So don’t tell me, say it calmly You don’t know what that costs me Every quiet version of myself Feels like a body somebody lost me in [Breakdown – One’s Own Life] (SCREAM) Say it soft—IT MEANS NOTHING Say it calm—IT’S ALL NUMBING If I don’t tear it out of me— IT WAS NEVER FUCKING REAL (Gang vocals) LOUD OR IT’S A LIE LOUD OR IT DIES [Final Chorus ] I ONLY SOUND HONEST WHEN I’M SCREAMING THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I MEAN IT If it hurts, then maybe I believe it— IF IT BREAKS, THEN MAYBE IT’S REAL [Outro] I tried to say it quietly… You didn’t hear a thing.