[INSTRUMENTAL — skipping kick, soft pads] [VERSE 1 — close, warm humour] Grandad made me promise once Over whiskey, Christmas "When I go, don't let them make me Sound respectable" So today I'm at the lectern Tie's a bit too tight Church full of his old mates And one story loaded [HOOK — warm, mischievous chant] He said tell it (tell it) He said tell it So I'm telling He said tell it (tell it) He said tell it So I'm telling [VERSE 2 — building] Nineteen sixty-something Blackpool, bank holiday Him, a borrowed rowing boat And the pier patrol behind him Grandma heard it twenty times Swore it grew a mile each telling Well — today it grew again [INSTRUMENTAL — chops bounce off the piano, bass rolling] [VERSE 3 — warm, fuller] Afterwards, in the function room Three of his mates corner me "That rowing boat," one says "We thought you'd keep it decent" I say decent was the plan Til I heard the man himself Telling it wrong, grinning Better than I ever could [BRIDGE — voice nearly alone, warm] The vicar's face was something But his mates were howling And Grandma, God bless her Laughed the loudest of them all Then she whispers at the graveside "That's him, that's the man" Respectable? Never Ours. Always [FINAL HOOK — fullest, chops stacked] He said tell it (tell it) He said tell it So I'm telling He said tell it (tell it) He said tell it So I'm telling [OUTRO — fragments] So I'm telling [INSTRUMENTAL OUTRO — hats dissolve, piano holds]
