[Verse 1: Hollering funk-rock male lead, over the popping bass] Thirty years I pushed a bucket down the halls of Central High Waxed the gym for every dance and watched the kids go by Prom night, they hang the streamers and they hand me the mop Say stay in the corner, Earl, and wipe the soda drops Kids in rented tuxes, kids in sequins to the knee Lookin' at my gray uniform and laughin' right at me One says, hey, old timer, bet you never had a date I just lean upon the handle, son, I'm good, I'm doin' great [Chorus: Hollering funk-rock male lead, hollering] I'll mop the floor with you Got a bucket and a broom and some moves you never knew Laugh it up, I been dancin' since your daddy was in school I'll mop the floor with you [Verse 2: Hollering funk-rock male lead, wah guitar kicking in] Then the band starts playin' somethin' from when I was nineteen Bassline hits my ankles and my knees recall it clean Put the mop against the wall and I loosen up my tie Shuffle, step and spin around, a twinkle in my eye Kids stop takin' selfies and they back into a ring Old man in the middle and he's doin' every thing Splits I haven't tried since the bicentennial year Hips that got a pension and they're still the best in here [Bridge: Hollering funk-rock male lead, wet-tile slide, bass sliding up] Mop a strip from wall to wall Take a run, I'm gonna fall No I'm not, I'm on my heels Slidin' clear across on wheels [Chorus: Hollering funk-rock male lead, hollering] I'll mop the floor with you Got a bucket and a broom and some moves you never knew Laugh it up, I been dancin' since your daddy was in school I'll mop the floor with you [Verse 3: Hollering funk-rock male lead, triumphant] Ballots in the bucket and they count 'em by the stage Chaperone is squintin' and she's turnin' every page Write-in, write-in, write-in, every slip says Earl Crown is on my head and I'm dancin' with the lunch lady, Pearl Kid who asked about my date is clappin' on the side Thirty years of moppin' and tonight I got my ride [Chorus: Hollering funk-rock male lead, hollering] I'll mop the floor with you Got a bucket and a broom and some moves you never knew Laugh it up, I been dancin' since your daddy was in school I'll mop the floor with you [Outro: Hollering funk-rock male lead, wah guitar rings out] Long live the king, now hand me back my mop [End]
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