Time To Lobotomize

[VERSE 1] You've been crying for a week now Keeping everyone awake You've been loud and inconvenient And the family needs a break Don't you worry, I've seen worse things Seen a thousand just like you Sit down, let me get my suitcase I know exactly what to do [PRE-CHORUS] It's a simple little procedure Won't feel a thing — well, briefly Sign right here, and here, and here Your husband already agreed [CHORUS] It's time to lobotomize Quiet down those tired eyes All that feeling's just a flaw Nothing science can't resolve You'll thank me when it's done You'll be pleasant in the sun Sit real still — this won't take long It's time to lobotomize [VERSE 2] See I've done this twenty-two times Just this morning, before lunch Wrote a paper, won an award Got a standing ovation from the bunch You're not broken — well, you are though But I've got a gift for broken things Little ice pick through the eye socket You'd be amazed what silence brings [PRE-CHORUS] It's a mercy, not a murder Though I see why you'd be scared But the nurses say you're difficult And the difficult don't get to choose their care [CHORUS] It's time to lobotomize Quiet down those tired eyes All that feeling's just a flaw Nothing science can't resolve You'll thank me when it's done You'll be pleasant in the sun Sit real still — this won't take long It's time to lobotomize [BRIDGE — music drops to a single crawling riff. Doctor's voice gets quieter, more intimate — scariest moment in the song.] You know what your problem is? You feel too much You think too loud You take up too much space And the world's a much better place when people like you learn to sit still (beat of silence) I'm not the villain here I'm the man with the solution And solutions always cost something (full band crashes back in) [VERSE 3 — the mask slips just slightly, the swagger gets a little too loud] Oh don't look at me like that now I've got papers, I've got proof Nobel Prize went to the method So the method must be truth And the ones who didn't make it — well, you can't save everyone Besides the ones who came out quiet Seem to think that I've done good (barely a pause — the lie lands flat) ...mostly [FINAL CHORUS — same melody, one word changes in the last line] It's time to lobotomize Quiet down those tired eyes All that feeling's just a flaw Nothing science can't resolve You'll thank me when it's done You'll be pleasant in the sun Sit real still — this won't take long (delivered with a smile in the voice) It's time to lobotomize [OUTRO — the riff winds down:] (cheerful, offhand, already thinking about the next patient) "Next." "Next."