Let me tell you about my life— I’m a stay-at-home mom, and yes… a bit of a trophy wife. I have 2.5 kids and a labradoodle, hypoallergenic, part Labrador, part poodle. I’m a member of the country club and the PTA. I cook nutritious meals for my family every day. In the yard is a lilac bush and a vegetable bed. I say please, thank you, and pardon me. I am well bred. I bake my famous cookies for every bake sale. I eat quinoa, drink smoothies made with kale. Our walls are beige, taupe, and ecru— would it be a crime to throw in a little blue? I wear sensible shoes and mom-cut jeans. The movies we watch don’t have R-rated scenes. My hair is in a bob, or maybe a pixie— whichever one says “safe but a little ditzy.” I wear mascara and a swipe of pink lip gloss. My life seems perfect… but I’m at a loss. I could go back to school, earn my degree, or save the whales—maybe just hug a tree. I could run away and join a circus show, walk the high wire in sequins and sparkles— you never know. I could become a famous writer, or maybe a female prize-fighter. I could have a torrid affair. Would my husband even care? As long as dinner isn’t late and there’s meat and potatoes on his plate, does he even know I’m there? Oh well—there’s a picnic at church on Sunday. The kids have soccer practice Monday. The minivan needs an oil change, and I have dentist and vet appointments to arrange. Yes, my life can be a bore. But you’ll have to excuse me now— someone’s at the door. If it’s opportunity knocking, it will simply have to wait. It’s 5:15… and dinner can’t be late.
