Intergalactic Primetime (Keeping Up with the Earthlings)

Alternative rock, electronic, trip hop, lo-fi hip hop, hip hop

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We’re watching you from Andromeda skies,
With our four arms and our six-fingered eyes.
Streaming the madness, the glory, the things,
It’s "Keeping Up with the Earthlings".
Yeah, the ratings are high.

Structural anomaly detected in the lower limbs.
They wear mechanical extensions, ivory towers on the heel.
They name it "Stiletto's"....
Conclusion: The Earthling anatomy is... incomplete.
Without these stilts, they surely would collapse.
Observe the sacred head-gear.
They name it "curlers"....
Silver cylinders attached to the hair fibers.
Powerful antennas... communicating with the Ancient Ones.
Quick, brothers! Construct a temple!
She is speaking to the gods through her rollers.
We bow to the Antenna Goddess.

We’re watching you from Andromeda skies,
With our four arms and our six-fingered eyes.
Streaming the madness, the glory, the things,
It’s "Keeping Up with the Earthlings".

Forget the beverage, Earth-girl.
Witness my biological strobe.
I turn neon-pink... then toxic-green.
Do you feel the attraction? Do you feel the glow?
Accept my gift: A jar of Grade-A Synthetic Space Slime.
The ultimate aphrodisiac... swallow it whole.
It’s better than roses. It’s better than gold.

Initiating greeting protocol.
Don't be startled by the hum, or the extra hands.
Six fingers per limb... imagine the possibilities.
A handshake? A massage? A total sensory overload?
The Earth-female looks... surprised.
Must be the vibration, or they might think of some sexual sensation. 
Or the slime.

We’re watching you from Andromeda skies,
With our four arms and our six-fingered eyes.
Streaming the madness, the glory, the things,
It’s "Keeping Up with the Earthlings".

The signal is fading...
Pack the cameras, take the specimens.
Andromeda needs their Season Two.

2191/7500

Scanning sector seven... local species: Human. Observe the female... facial markings: bright red. Warning! Warning! Target has saturated labia-region with crimson pigment. Probability of toxicity: 98 percent. Approach with caution, she is a venomous queen. And the black soot around the eyes? They name it "mascara".... Scanning... ah, a visual deterrent to blind the predator. Intimidating. Efficient. Beautifully lethal. We’re watching you from Andromeda skies, With our four arms and our six-fingered eyes. Streaming the madness, the glory, the things, It’s "Keeping Up with the Earthlings". Yeah, the ratings are high. Structural anomaly detected in the lower limbs. They wear mechanical extensions, ivory towers on the heel. They name it "Stiletto's".... Conclusion: The Earthling anatomy is... incomplete. Without these stilts, they surely would collapse. Observe the sacred head-gear. They name it "curlers".... Silver cylinders attached to the hair fibers. Powerful antennas... communicating with the Ancient Ones. Quick, brothers! Construct a temple! She is speaking to the gods through her rollers. We bow to the Antenna Goddess. We’re watching you from Andromeda skies, With our four arms and our six-fingered eyes. Streaming the madness, the glory, the things, It’s "Keeping Up with the Earthlings". Forget the beverage, Earth-girl. Witness my biological strobe. I turn neon-pink... then toxic-green. Do you feel the attraction? Do you feel the glow? Accept my gift: A jar of Grade-A Synthetic Space Slime. The ultimate aphrodisiac... swallow it whole. It’s better than roses. It’s better than gold. Initiating greeting protocol. Don't be startled by the hum, or the extra hands. Six fingers per limb... imagine the possibilities. A handshake? A massage? A total sensory overload? The Earth-female looks... surprised. Must be the vibration, or they might think of some sexual sensation. Or the slime. We’re watching you from Andromeda skies, With our four arms and our six-fingered eyes. Streaming the madness, the glory, the things, It’s "Keeping Up with the Earthlings". The signal is fading... Pack the cameras, take the specimens. Andromeda needs their Season Two.

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